Feeling Stuck Professionally? Changing Your Relationship with Your Body Will Propel You Forward

The massive relief I felt the morning after I was fired from my job was palpable. I was shocked by how differently I felt. I knew that the office politics, the post-merger tension, the budget cuts, and the bleak financial forecast were all wearing me down. But I had no idea it had a physical effect on me until I was free of it. 

It was as if the signals of my body were turned on, bright and blinding. I couldn’t look away if I tried. 

This was a pivotal moment for me. I was starting to tune into my body. 

I had spent decades fighting with my body, but that’s not what I called it at the time. I was dieting and trying to lose that post-pregnancy weight after having three kids. I was constantly running, biking, and working out. My size ten body just wasn’t slim enough. I saw myself as the “big girl” with big bones. In my mind, my body wasn’t good enough and I needed to make it better. 

What I didn’t realize at the time is that by fighting my body, I was disconnected from it. 

I know I’m not alone with this. A coaching colleague recently shared with me that he used to live his life from his neck up. This was his way of telling me that he was disconnected from his body too.  

We haven’t been taught to tune into our bodies. Are you angry? Let it go. Are you sad? Hide it. Are you not feeling well? Just keep going. Are you tired? Get a coffee.   

Over 90% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies. You don’t have to have a poor body image to be disconnected from your body. But if you are unhappy or even hate the body you have, you’re unlikely to want to respect it, and tune into it. Folks with poor body image spend their energy judging their body from the outside. They don’t know how to live inside of it. 

My clients share with me time and time again what it’s like to be disassociated and fight with their bodies. 

They skip lunch and then get so angry at themselves when they overeat after dinner. 

They get emotionally overwhelmed because of a disagreement they had with their boss and can’t find the focus to be productive the rest of the day. 

They beat themselves up for not finding time to work out, even though they’re a single mom with two tweens at home, work full-time and are overloaded with volunteer opportunities. 

For these folks, their body and their basic needs are dismissed and devalued. We’ve been taught to prioritize productivity and honoring our professional responsibilities over caring for ourselves. 

What price are you paying? 

Years ago, my body knew what it was like to feel that relief. I’m sure it also knew what it was like to feel the stress and burden I was experiencing in the years leading up to that point. But I didn’t notice or feel that. Instead, I just put my head down and tried to survive it. 

What signals from your body are you dismissing? 

Do you keep telling yourself that  “you can do this” but deep down, you know you’re completely exhausted and depleted? 

Are you feeling stuck and are just trying to survive life at work? 

It’s not just a price you're paying. There is an opportunity cost you’re missing.  When you start to tune into your needs, you’ll know how to manage stress, anxiety and any emotional ups and downs. Your body holds intuition and wisdom. When you tune into your body, you’ll be more creative and connected to your passion and purpose. Instead of fighting yourself, you’ll feel more in the flow because you’re aligned with yourself. 

Would you like to move forward professionally, but you’re not sure where to start? 

I work with ambitious women that are tired of the struggle with their body image and perfectionism and are ready to move to the next level professionally. If this is you, schedule a clarity call with me to explore how we can work together.

An Unsuspecting Professional Obstacle: Negative Body Image

Andrea, a fictitious typical client, has an important presentation to give today to her client’s board. Even though she’s confident in her preparation, she’s dreading what to wear. 

She wishes her favorite suit would still fit. Her go-to blouse is snug in all the wrong places. She’s frustrated with her weight, her body and herself. How could she let herself get here? Ultimately, 

she opted for the safe bet; something flowy that covers her up in dark colors, the ones that will make her blend in, not stand out. 

If you can relate to Andrea, you know what confidence in many areas of your life feels like. But when it comes to how you look and your body size, you feel like you're lacking and not measuring up. 

Your worries about your body don’t start and end when you’re getting dressed. You’ve developed an inner dialogue that’s constantly criticizing yourself. The internal conversation often gets louder and meaner when you're shocked as you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or look at a picture of yourself. 

Body image is a sensitive topic, especially in the workplace. When you’ve proven yourself to be an outstanding leader and highly competent in your role, it’s risky to share your vulnerabilities about how you feel about your body. 

This is why when you consider how you can continue to advance professionally, your negative body image may not even be on your radar as an obstacle. Many people who have a poor body image have been challenged by it for most of their lives and just see it as something they need to deal with. 

We aren’t freely talking about body image. But it’s likely impacting you personally and professionally. 

What Body Image Is

Essentially, it’s the image you have of your own body and it’s the image you have of what you think others think of your body. Even if you try to not think about your body, you still have an image of it. 

Your body image was formed at a young age when you noticed your own body and how it fit into the ideals of culture. You’re well aware of what an ideal body looks like and the praise women receive for having an ideal (or nearly ideal) body. They’re seen as beautiful, strong, capable, attractive and sexy. 

Your body image isn’t about the size of your body, it’s about how you see yourself as a whole person because of the size and shape of your body. If you see yourself as overweight, you may see yourself as bad, wrong, unattractive, or out of control. 

Not surprisingly, having a poor body image impacts your confidence. Just like Andrea. She felt confident to some degree, but her body image made her self-conscious. 

Your body image sits on a spectrum. You don’t just have a great body image or a negative one. You likely have something in between. And your body image can change over time. 

Here’s a few things to consider as you take stock of your body image: 

• Do you consider your body an enemy, a stranger, a casual acquaintance or your best friend? 

• How much time do you spend thinking about your weight, the size of your body and what you eat? 

• Do you try to avoid and push away any thoughts about your body? 

• Are you working hard to try to lose weight and improve your body? 

• How often do you have negative internal conversations about your body? 

Over 85% of adult women in the United States are unhappy and dissatisfied with their bodies. Negative feelings about our bodies are ubiquitous, but that’s not a reason to live with this negativity and discomfort. In addition, your body image impacts many areas of your life; your relationship with food, your sex life, your self-care, and undoubtedly, your performance and advancement in the workplace. 

Here is why. 

• Poor body image is taking up valuable time and energy. 

• You’re hiding yourself because it doesn’t feel safe to be visible. 

• You don’t feel truly confident. 

• You often overcompensate professionally by trying to be perfect. This is just exhausting. 

• You’re often waiting for external recognition from others. Because you’ve bought into the idea that you’ll feel more confident when you’ve lost weight, you don’t ask, put yourself out there or initiate. You’re waiting for your body to change to go after your dreams. 

• You’re disconnected from your body. You don’t take care of it because you don’t like it. 

I’m not advocating for you to try to fix or change your body so you can feel better about it. Doing so will only reinforce a negative body image. You don’t need to change your body to change your body image. 

Instead, start to notice how you relate to your body. How often do you tune in and listen? Notice how you talk to yourself about your body. 

This may be confirming what you’ve been suspecting for a long time; your relationship with your body needs improving.

Ready to get coaching around changing your body image so you can advance professionally on your own terms?  Book a clarity call with me.

The Unspoken Costs of Hating Your Body

Sara dreads the days when she has to leave her home office to see a client or meet her team in the office because she can’t just wear a blouse and comfy yoga pants. Days before, she plans what to wear but can’t find something she feels that great in. This is when her negative self-talk about her body starts to get really loud. “I can’t believe I’ve let myself get here. I wish I could lose some weight.” 

When she settles on a pair of dress pants, she feels self conscious because they feel so snug around her waist. All day, she makes sure she’s covered up with a blazer. She doesn’t want others to notice how snug her clothes are and judge her for it. 

These thoughts occupy her mind most of the day. Sure, Sara has a busy day with some month-end deadlines. But every time she catches herself in the mirror or walks into a meeting, her negative self-talk starts up again. And it’s pretty cruel. 

When clients like Sara share with me what it’s like to hate their body, the things they say to themselves are really hard for me to hear. “I’m disgusting.” “What’s wrong with me?” Ironically, it’s not hard for my client to speak to herself so harshly. She’s used to talking to herself like this. For clients like Sara, this is a familiar voice. 

Many women don’t think this voice is a problem. Yet, their mind is preoccupied with these conversations most of the day. Especially on the days when they are outside of the comforts of their home, in groups of people, when they’re speaking publicly or they’re traveling. This internal voice gets louder when they feel exposed. 

Which is why many women who hate their body avoid situations like these and forgo opportunities to be more visible. It’s important to let this sink in. Many women are working hard for their next promotion, but if they’re constantly berating themselves about their body, it’s unlikely they will “put themselves out there”. 

The irony is that some believe they need this voice to motivate them. They believe that if they let themselves be okay with their body as it is, then they won’t be inspired to get to the gym or eat healthy foods. Some people don’t hear how mean this voice really is. They agree with the voice that tells them their body is bad or disgusting. Telling yourself over and over that your body is disgusting hurts. But believing you deserve to berate yourself hurts more. 

We don’t call out that this dynamic is costly. But we need to. Sara wasted so much time and energy speaking so negatively about herself. She can never get that time and energy back. It’s gone forever. 

When judging herself so harshly, she also believes others are judging her too. Therefore, Sara hides herself. She covers herself up with oversized clothes. She avoids being in situations that leave her feeling exposed. Deep down, Sara doesn’t feel good enough to be seen just as she is. 

The professional cost comes down to Sara’s willingness to be professionally visible. She misses opportunities to build face-to-face relationships, speak publicly, and advocate herself to be placed on high-profile projects. 

It’s hard to come to terms with the impact of hating your body. Especially if you can’t remember a time in your life when you were happy with your body. It’s important for you to know that you can have a different relationship with your body; one that feels more peaceful and nourishing, one that’s not so harsh, one that doesn’t make you feel so exposed. Assess the cost and you’ll be one step closer to changing how you talk to yourself about your body. 

What It’s Like to Work With Me? A Client Interview with Michelle

Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Michelle, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

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Tara: 

Why did you want to work with me?

Michelle:   

I saw your posts on Instagram and I just immediately connected to the struggle and the positive messages that I saw. And then I started listening to your podcast. And I loved it. I called (and we talked). It was exactly the kind of help I was looking for. I just deeply connected with your message.

Tara:  

What were some of your biggest concerns about working with me before we started?

Michelle:

I was so fried and burnt out over all the dieting experiences that I said “it's not a diet, it's a food plan” conversation. I hoped that there was a solution in this that didn't involve language that really was a diet but doesn't use the word diet. And I have never, ever heard about intuitive eating.

All of your information was not part of something I've ever run into. So my reservation, my hesitation was, I hope this isn't another one of those, you know? And it wasn't. It's exactly what I was looking for. Exactly.

I very much like the integration of the energy work that we do, along with the (coaching) conversations because I craved exactly what we're doing for a long time. I just didn't know how to find that person.

Tara:  

Yeah, it seems like what we're doing here just fits so beautifully for you. I love that.

What has been your favorite part of doing this work?

Michelle:

I really needed to heal over trauma. I knew that I needed to work on it. But I don't think I understood the connection between food, my behaviors, my thinking, and my experiences with trauma and, and I saw it as two different things that needed to be worked on. 

My favorite thing is that I'm getting at layers that I couldn't access. I just could never access it before working with you. I knew then they were there. I knew that they hurt. And honestly, I think that your advice, your thoughts, where you lead me is just brilliant. I had no idea about these connections. You're just helping me to link all of this. You know, just to peel it back and work on it. 

As hard as it is to work on this kind of stuff, I’m always (I know, it sounds crazy) looking forward to meeting with you. Because I feel like there's answers. It's not just visiting these triggers or visiting these moments. There's answers. So (our work together) doesn't leave me feeling like I'm hanging out there with this (hard stuff).

Tara: 

What has been the biggest transformation that you've gotten so far?

Michelle: 

The biggest transformation is around my body image. When I get dressed, I think about being comfortable and feeling confident. I don't want to say I've let go of all of my obsessive negative thinking about myself and my body image. I have moments where it comes back and it comes hard. But I've opened up a lot more, and I'm a lot more kind to myself. I'm not swinging between the extremes. I'm just more in the middle (and feel more neutral about my body). 

I'm not focused on a number and forcing that number to fit anymore. I'm not focusing on that. I'm focusing on comfort. I've actually started having thoughts like, “If this is not comfortable, you should get a pair of pants that are comfortable.” I’m not really even thinking about the numbers, which is a huge change for me. Huge.

Tara:  

Thanks for sharing that. That's awesome. What surprised you the most about working with me?

Michelle:  

Well, other than the fact that I couldn't actually believe that I connected with you. And not just to people that work for you. Once I got over that, I think that I'm actually really surprised at how related past trauma is to my food behaviors. I think that was like one of the biggest aha moments.   

It's amazing what it's been like to find (you) the right person at the right time. I really get a lot out of our session. I'm telling you a lot during our time together. And I use it (your tools and strategies). They are  incredibly helpful to me. I can't believe how much I've grown in such a short time. 

I've learned how to just notice more. And not be as checked out. 

Tara:

That's awesome to hear.  And you've done the hard work.  Who would you recommend me to?

Michelle:  

I think anyone who's sick and tired of running on this little hamster wheel, trying to fix things and going back and forth and yo-yoing up and down (with dieting). Those struggling with understanding their thinking about food and where it's coming from. I think people who really want to change and feel ready for change. That's the perfect person. 

I think you could help like anybody, because I hear people talking who don't necessarily have food issues, but talk diet speak all the time. I feel like everybody could really benefit from undoing some of their beliefs and learn what I have from you. 

Tara: 

Thank you so much.  It’s really nice to hear all of those things and hear that you are noticing the impact our work together is having on you. 

Michelle: 

The freedom I've gotten from talking and making connections (around food and body image) and the effect that it has on me as I move forward has been so powerful. I'm incredibly grateful to you.

Tara:  

I'm grateful to work with you too!  It's really been a pleasure.

I’m Calling Bullshit On Body Image Struggles

“I'm feeling so uncomfortable in my clothes. Especially because I know those jeans used to fit me.” 

“I don't want friends (work colleagues, family I haven't seen in a while) to see me because of my weight.”

“I cringe when I see my reflection in the mirror.” 

“I hate how bloated and achy my belly feels.”

When I hear things like this from my clients, they’ll also tell me that they don’t talk “about this stuff” with anyone else. 

I know that 95% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies, so there is a very good chance you’re also pretty critical of your body. 

But, does it feel as jagged and sharp to you as it does to me? 

When I used to call myself disgusting or fat, those words were so familiar to me. I didn’t feel the pain I was causing myself. It didn’t feel harsh, it was just there. 

And I’m suspecting you don’t feel the sharpness of your words. You’ve numbed yourself to how painful it is to live with your body. And I get it. This is how we’ve had to cope. Numbing isn’t a defect, it’s a strategy.  There may be a part of you that thinks you deserve all of that harmful talk. Or, you may be hoping that if you say horrible things about your body that it will finally motivate you to make a change. 

But it’s time to call bullshit on this entire dynamic. 

Even though we live in a world that tells us our bodies aren’t good enough, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Cultural beliefs are often wrong. Remember when we thought the world was flat? When smoking was cool?  Your body is worthy of respect and care no matter it’s shape, size, gender identity, sexual preference, ability, age or color. 

And, if talking shit about your body was going to motivate you to eat "better" and exercise more, wouldn't that have happened in the past few months? In the past few years? In the past few decades? 

Shaming never ever inspires positive or loving change. Period. 

It's time to stop tolerating this pain. 

Why? 

Because it hurts and you don't deserve to be hurt. 

It's also holding you back from feeling free, peaceful and powerful. 

While you're feeling awful about your body, you're hiding the body you have. You may be hiding by wearing black or oversized clothes. Or, maybe you don't really care about how you dress at all and just wear "whatever". You are trying to fly under the radar so you don't get noticed or draw attention to yourself. 

You stay quiet and reserved. Speaking up means people will hear you. Showing up means people will see you. When you're in the spotlight, the risk of judgment rises. When you're judging yourself, you’re likely assuming everyone else is judging you too. 

And sadly, you may not be wrong. But, you also may not be right. I know. This is a risk you're unwilling to take. 

I know you don’t want to feel the way you do about your body. That’s why so many people diet and try to lose weight. They hope that if their body changes, how they feel about their body will change too. 

I’m calling bullshit on this too. 

If you’re anything like how I was in the past, you’ve been tireless in your pursuit of a better body. And even if it hasn’t translated to all action, you’ve been dreaming and hoping that once your body changes, your life will too. That takes a lot of energy. 

It's no longer about waiting until your body changes until you feel better about yourself. It's about changing how you feel and living in your body so you feel better no matter what. 

You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin without changing one single thing about your body. You deserve to feel peaceful in your body right now, at this moment. 

Fixing the outside doesn't heal the inside.  Fixing the outside only re-affirms the shame you feel and validates the belief that your body is wrong or broken. 

This is work I do. I guide women to no longer fight with the shame that lives within them, but heal it. I guide women to living inside of their bodies, safely. I guide women to tune in and listen to their inner wisdom. And to care for themselves. 

Here are some examples of how I do this… 

I “introduce” you to your body and its signals. So you can start to notice the subtle messages that will become clearer over time. 

I help you tune into that critical voice and not push it away. When you’re curious, you may discover the voice has a purpose. 

When you notice the outside cultural narratives you’ll see that how you feel about your body is not your  fault. And then you can take full responsibility for how you treat yourself and your body. 

You’ll notice all the ways you’ve been trying to fix your body and realize that’s not moving you to feeling peaceful about your body. 

You start actively caring for your body, every damn day. Not with the prescribed way for weight loss, but by tuning into what your body and spirit is really craving and asking for. 

Want to explore how I can guide you through a process like this one?  

Set up a clarity call with me. On this 45 minute call, we will get to know each other, discover if we are a good fit,  and I’ll share with you more details on how we can work together.

What It's Like To Work With Me: A Client Interview with Barbara

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Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Barbara, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

Tara: 

Why did you want to work with me? What about me drew you? 

Barbara: 

I first started listening to your podcast. And I liked your gentle approach in interviewing guests and talking with people and presenting information. And I felt like it would be a good fit for me too. 

When we got on a call, I just felt very connected to you. You just have this air of gentleness, but non judgmental and ease about talking to you. And I just felt like I could really open up to you.  

Tara: 

Thank you for that. Did you have any concerns or worries about working with me before we started? 

Barbara: 

I wasn't really sure about how this would go. And to be honest, food and body and diet is so shame filled for me that I was pretty worried about it being too vulnerable or too, just too much. While it has been meaningful and moving, I've never felt like it's been too much. 

You're definitely meeting me right where I am and helping me think differently, but not pushing so much that I'm uncomfortable, in a bad way. It’s like being uncomfortable in a good way to make a change. I don't feel uncomfortable, or pushed, I feel guided and coached.

Tara: 

I'm so glad. Do you have a favorite part of this work?

Barbara:  

I really enjoy hearing your perspective. You'll come in with like, “this is what has worked for me” or “when I started this is how I started thinking, but now I'm thinking differently”. I like knowing I'm not alone in any of this. And with you having experience here. I just feel heard. 

Tara: 

What would you say the biggest transformation is that you've gotten so far?

Barbara:   

It's the realization that diet culture is everywhere. And diet culture is more than diet culture, it influences my perfectionism traits, and how I want to be a people pleaser, and  be well liked. All of those kinds of things. I'm seeing that it all really stems from food and diet and diet culture and the messages that I received from my family or from the media throughout my life.

Being able to just recognize it and notice it without unconsciously devouring it like I was before. Before it was just part of my life. And now I can look at it and go, “Oh, that's what that is. I get it, I can opt out of it.” 

Tara:

Love that. Was there anything that surprised you about working with me?

Barbara:   

This isn't a surprise, but I really wanted it to be a switch that I could flip and all of a sudden be that intuitive eater. Our early conversations about distinguishing hunger surprised me that it was so hard for me or that I was so broken from that part of my body. It's not a good or bad surprise, but I was “Oh, I'm really disconnected.”  And you know, that's been good for me to know that..

Tara: 

Who would you recommend me to?

Barbara: 

I would recommend you to anyone who has any sort of food issues, eating issues, diet issues, or body image issues. As a way to examine how those thoughts got there in the first place and ways to dismantle them. So they can live a freer and easier existence. 

Tara: 

That's perfect. Barbara, thank you so much. I appreciate that. 

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If you’d like to explore working me, schedule a clarity call with me using this calendar link.

What It’s Like To Work With Me: a client interview with Nicole

Hiring a coach is a big commitment. I wanted to offer you some input from my clients so you can hear from them what it’s like to work with me.

I interviewed Nicole, a client that I’m working with around intuitive eating and body image, and asked her a few questions. With her permission, I transcribed our conversation and I’m sharing it here.

TW: What made you want to work with me?

Nicole: You seemed really kind. This is hard stuff. Also, in all transparency, I was like, is she going to be too touchy feely? Is she going to be telling me to drink certain herbal teas and that'll save my life? I was a little nervous about that. I predict in a year, or even less, intuitive eating is gonna hit, it's gonna hit a  tipping point. And you're going to be like this front end person. You might not feel like you're the front end person, but you really, really are. So I think that's gonna happen. And we're gonna be like, oh, yeah, we knew that.

TW: What were some worries or concerns that you had with working with me before we started?

Nicole: I was worried, as I've done many different diets. I didn't think it was going to be a diet, but I didn't really know what it was going to be. And that's been a fun thing to expand, that has expanded over time. So I didn't know what it was going to be. And how much was going to be expected of me. 

I find that there's a lot expected of me, but it's done gently. And it's done at my pace. It's not every week coming here going, and saying, “I didn't do what I said I was gonna do, I failed”.  But it's not judgmental. It's just like, let's talk about that. It would be really hard for me if you were full of what I should do.  

You're very good at saying “you might want to”, or “here's something that you might want to try”. That's so different from “here is what you should really do”. It allows me to make the choice. You have great things to offer and I can pick the things I like that work for me. 

TW: What’s your favorite part of this work?

Nicole: I enjoy thinking about the wins. And often I find I didn't think I had any wins and then I did. Sometimes I think, oh, I don't have any wins and within five minutes of talking to you, I'm always like, like, yes I did. It's a very empowering feeling. It’s stretching a muscle. The more I do that, the better I get at that.

TW: What’s the biggest transformation you've had with working together?

Nicole: I definitely eat more real food. And recognizing that I actually like a lot of foods. I didn't realize that I did. I eat a lot of different foods now. 

I would say feeling successful, even though I still have so far to go and many things to do. That is such a nice feeling. It's what keeps me coming back. It's not Pollyanna-ish. It's not a job. It's like, I believe it when I come here and talk to you and I have a good thing happen, or I don't, it's real. 

TW: Is there anything surprising about working with me?

Nicole: The thing that surprises me is that I am still this engaged and interested and motivated.  And probably even more as time goes by. And I think that comes with building a trusting relationship, too.  Just feeling like, wow, this is really valuable. I can’t wait to talk about what was good this week, there are things that are positive. And then the next week that builds on that. But even on a bad week, I take something away. And that's a gift.

TW: Is there anyone that you would recommend me to?

Nicole:  This is very feministic work. Not that you wouldn't work with guys. But for me, it feels very much in that vein, and there's something there that other feminists would speak to them.

Is Your Negative Body Image Impacting Your Career?

I never would have linked these two things together; how I felt about my body and how successful I could be in business. After all, we’ve been taught how to succeed in business; work hard, get the right education, connect with a mentor and take well-calculated risks.

But now, as I reflect on the twists and turns in my career, I can see how the shifts I made in my relationship with food and my body went step by step with the changes I made professionally. I started my career in public accounting and thirty years later, I’m a published author who coaches female leaders to stop dieting and gain confidence in their bodies.

Let me share my brief career timeline. But I want you to know that I started dieting and eating emotionally when I was 12. So, even though I'm sharing with you some more recent diet history, I was experiencing disordered eating and body dysmorphia at a young and tender age.

• 2000. Started practicing yoga. Working in corporate accounting.

• 2001. Joined Weight Watchers after the birth of my son.

• 2007. Began training to be a yoga teacher.

• 2008. Left corporate accounting. Later that year, I founded my accounting consulting firm.

• 2009. Started practicing intuitive eating on my own.

• 2011. Opened my yoga studio.

• 2015. Became a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. Started coaching part-time.

  * This was the year I was actively running three businesses.

• 2016. Closed yoga studio.

• 2018. Dissolved accounting consulting firm.

• 2019. Transitioned into coaching full-time. Published my first book.

My yoga and intuitive eating practice taught me how to live inside of my body. Before then, I didn’t know that was a thing. I was dieting, doing my best to lose weight, and was disconnected from my body. I couldn’t live inside of my body because I was too busy judging it.

I could have stayed in my accounting career. But as much as I enjoyed the work, I couldn’t help noticing how draining and empty it left me. The more I listened to my body, I couldn’t ignore these signals.

Before these practices, life around food and my body were hard. I was:

• Needing to be perfect to feel good enough.

• Believing that I needed a thin body to be successful.

• Validating myself based on what others thought of me and my performance.

• Exhausted and frustrated.

• Feeling unfulfilled.

As my body image changed, I became more willing to create and run businesses that were closer to my heart and allowed me to share myself with more passion and confidence. Here are some concrete things that allowed me to change the trajectory of my career:

• I had more time and energy to focus on my business because I was no longer preoccupied, worried, or obsessing over food.

• I felt more confidence and trust in myself because I was no longer dieting and failing at dieting.

• I saw my body as a source of wisdom and started to care for it deeply. This means I started to slow down instead of being hooked on the busyness that left me feeling exhausted.

• I know what alignment feels like and what out of alignment feels like. I can distinguish between the two because I practice being present and grounded in my body.

I have a vision of female leaders that have reclaimed their time, energy, and inner wisdom to focus on what matters most to them. They’ve taken it back from dieting, emotional eating, and their negative body image.

They’ve done this because they’ve changed their body image. For women to truly thrive and feel fulfilled in their careers, they need to have a connection to their bodies.

This is why I’ve created a quiz, Is your body image holding you back professionally?

This quiz will likely take you less than 5 minutes. You'll find out if your body image is holding you back, weighing you down or if you feel pretty free around your body.

You can take it here.

Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin

I’d like to invite you to a free to attend webinar on this topic. See details below. 

There was a time in my life when I believed that I'd feel comfortable in my own skin when my body was thinner. I had this fantasy that when I finally lost weight that my whole life would fall into place. I'd feel more confident at work. I'd feel cuter and more attractive. I’d be relaxed around what I was eating because my body had finally reached my goal weight. 

In my mind, feeling comfortable in my own skin was a goal to achieve, something I needed to earn. And my reward for my hard work was that I’d be happy, attractive and comfortable with my life. 

If that fantasy had become a reality, my story would have stopped there. I would have declared victory and moved on. 

I never reached this goal. Not even close. The harder I worked at thinness, the less confident, attractive and relaxed I felt. 

Clearly, my understanding of what it took to be comfortable in my own skin was faulty. I was focused on the wrong things. Primarily because I had been promised that weight loss would make me happy.  

I can't recall the exact day I started feeling comfortable in my own skin. At first, it came in small moments of peace while I was lying in savasana after a sweaty yoga class. Those moments became more frequent. I noticed them when I felt so satisfied after eating a meal that tasted delicious to me, when I felt confident, passionate and nervous while giving a talk in front of a large group. I noticed ease while getting dressed in clothes that I liked wearing. 

As things started to click, I could tell when I felt comfortable in my own skin and when I didn’t. I could practice living inside of my body or I could live outside of my body. One way felt peaceful and one way filled me with anxiety.  

Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin can look and act like this: 

- Weighing yourself and letting the number determine how you feel that day. 

- Exercising intensely because of what or how much you ate. 

- Comparing your body to those around you. 

- Looking at your reflection in the mirror and only seeing what's wrong. 

- Consuming social media pictures that make you feel like your body isn't enough. 

As an intuitive eating counselor and yoga teacher, I know practicing feeling comfortable in your own skin has a big impact on your confidence, self esteem and your relationship with food. It’s possible to feel at peace in your body and know in your heart that no matter what your size, shape or health that your body is a good body. 

This is why I’m excited to invite you to my upcoming webinar. I’ll be sharing with you:

• What's really going on around why you feel so dissatisfied with your body. 

• Three things you can do right away that will start to change how you feel in your body. 

• Why feeling comfortable in your own skin is a practice and not a destination. 

• Guidance on your own body image journey. 

This one hour webinar, Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin,  is free to attend. If you sign up and can’t attend in person, you can purchase the recording for $25. 

Sign up here:

Wednesday, July 27th at 5pm EST, 2pm PST

Thursday, July 28th at 12pm EST, 9am PST 

Do You Trust Your Body?

10 questions to ask yourself. 

It makes sense that we don’t. We’ve been told and conditioned to prioritize external knowledge over internal wisdom. Trusting our body is rarely celebrated or modeled for us. 

But, with practice, it’s absolutely possible (and life changing!). 

1. When confronted with a challenge or problem, do you say “let me think about it” or do you say “let me be with this” ? 

2. Do you prioritize stillness and space? 

3. Do you know how to experience pleasure, joy and peace in your life? 

4. Are you often creating and exploring new solutions and ways of doing things, or do you prefer to follow a formula? 

5. When things don’t go your way, do you immediately assume you’ve done something wrong? 

6. How much time are you on Google reading and seeking information and solutions? 

7. Do you often sign up for courses and training with the hopes that knowing more will give you more confidence? 

8. Do you honor your hunger and eat when you need nourishment? 

9. When you are tired, do you rest? 

10. How would you describe your relationship with your body? A trust advisor? Beloved? An enemy? A stranger? 

I’d love to hear from you. Do you do things that create more trust in yourself and your body? 

Feeling shitty about your body today?

There is so much that may trigger you to feel bad about your body. 

How your jeans fit when you zipped them this morning. 

What you ate yesterday. 

Pictures on social media. 

Recalling the conversation over Thanksgiving dinner about how Aunt Susan lost all of that weight on her latest diet. Uggh. Diet and weight loss talk can be so overwhelming. 

If this is you, you may be: 

• Making a plan to fix your body with a new diet, more restriction (aka being good today), and more exercise. 

• Feeling stuck and hopeless. Body shame can feel very heavy and immobilizing. 

• Engaging other patterns that feel less bad; like shopping, excessive working, drinking, and eating. 

These aren’t bad responses. It's natural to find ways to feel better when living in a world that often tells you that there is something wrong with your body. These are ways you’re trying to survive. 

I'd like to offer you a few ways to ride out feeling bad about your body.

• Can you pull yourself up and away and witness yourself? Instead of being caught up in thoughts, reactions, and the drama of fixing, watch yourself in the experience. 

• Limit how much outside information and pictures you do take in. Turn away from the magazines in the grocery store aisle, certain accounts on social media and websites. Follow #bodyliberation accounts. 

• Give yourself permission to wear comfortable clothing. 

• Prioritize some of your basic needs; hydration, rest, and connecting with a close and trusted friend, partner, or family member. 

• Do your best to ground yourself in your body. Take some deep breaths. Spend a few moments outside and get some fresh air. Let your feet rest on the floor and let them be supported. 

I know it doesn't feel great. Remind yourself that this too shall pass. You deserve to feel good in your body, no matter what. Be gentle with yourself.