Andrea, a fictitious typical client, has an important presentation to give today to her client’s board. Even though she’s confident in her preparation, she’s dreading what to wear.
She wishes her favorite suit would still fit. Her go-to blouse is snug in all the wrong places. She’s frustrated with her weight, her body and herself. How could she let herself get here? Ultimately,
she opted for the safe bet; something flowy that covers her up in dark colors, the ones that will make her blend in, not stand out.
If you can relate to Andrea, you know what confidence in many areas of your life feels like. But when it comes to how you look and your body size, you feel like you're lacking and not measuring up.
Your worries about your body don’t start and end when you’re getting dressed. You’ve developed an inner dialogue that’s constantly criticizing yourself. The internal conversation often gets louder and meaner when you're shocked as you catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or look at a picture of yourself.
Body image is a sensitive topic, especially in the workplace. When you’ve proven yourself to be an outstanding leader and highly competent in your role, it’s risky to share your vulnerabilities about how you feel about your body.
This is why when you consider how you can continue to advance professionally, your negative body image may not even be on your radar as an obstacle. Many people who have a poor body image have been challenged by it for most of their lives and just see it as something they need to deal with.
We aren’t freely talking about body image. But it’s likely impacting you personally and professionally.
What Body Image Is
Essentially, it’s the image you have of your own body and it’s the image you have of what you think others think of your body. Even if you try to not think about your body, you still have an image of it.
Your body image was formed at a young age when you noticed your own body and how it fit into the ideals of culture. You’re well aware of what an ideal body looks like and the praise women receive for having an ideal (or nearly ideal) body. They’re seen as beautiful, strong, capable, attractive and sexy.
Your body image isn’t about the size of your body, it’s about how you see yourself as a whole person because of the size and shape of your body. If you see yourself as overweight, you may see yourself as bad, wrong, unattractive, or out of control.
Not surprisingly, having a poor body image impacts your confidence. Just like Andrea. She felt confident to some degree, but her body image made her self-conscious.
Your body image sits on a spectrum. You don’t just have a great body image or a negative one. You likely have something in between. And your body image can change over time.
Here’s a few things to consider as you take stock of your body image:
Do you consider your body an enemy, a stranger, a casual acquaintance or your best friend?
How much time do you spend thinking about your weight, the size of your body and what you eat?
Do you try to avoid and push away any thoughts about your body?
Are you working hard to try to lose weight and improve your body?
How often do you have negative internal conversations about your body?
Over 85% of adult women in the United States are unhappy and dissatisfied with their bodies. Negative feelings about our bodies are ubiquitous, but that’s not a reason to live with this negativity and discomfort. In addition, your body image impacts many areas of your life; your relationship with food, your sex life, your self-care, and undoubtedly, your performance and advancement in the workplace.
Here is why.
Poor body image is taking up valuable time and energy.
You’re hiding yourself because it doesn’t feel safe to be visible.
You don’t feel truly confident.
You often overcompensate professionally by trying to be perfect. This is just exhausting.
You’re often waiting for external recognition from others. Because you’ve bought into the idea that you’ll feel more confident when you’ve lost weight, you don’t ask, put yourself out there or initiate. You’re waiting for your body to change to go after your dreams.
You’re disconnected from your body. You don’t take care of it because you don’t like it.
I’m not advocating for you to try to fix or change your body so you can feel better about it. Doing so will only reinforce a negative body image. You don’t need to change your body to change your body image.
Instead, start to notice how you relate to your body. How often do you tune in and listen? Notice how you talk to yourself about your body.
This may be confirming what you’ve been suspecting for a long time; your relationship with your body needs improving.
Ready to get coaching around changing your body image so you can advance professionally on your own terms? Book a clarity call with me.