“I'm feeling so uncomfortable in my clothes. Especially because I know those jeans used to fit me.”
“I don't want friends (work colleagues, family I haven't seen in a while) to see me because of my weight.”
“I cringe when I see my reflection in the mirror.”
“I hate how bloated and achy my belly feels.”
When I hear things like this from my clients, they’ll also tell me that they don’t talk “about this stuff” with anyone else.
I know that 95% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies, so there is a very good chance you’re also pretty critical of your body.
But, does it feel as jagged and sharp to you as it does to me?
When I used to call myself disgusting or fat, those words were so familiar to me. I didn’t feel the pain I was causing myself. It didn’t feel harsh, it was just there.
And I’m suspecting you don’t feel the sharpness of your words. You’ve numbed yourself to how painful it is to live with your body. And I get it. This is how we’ve had to cope. Numbing isn’t a defect, it’s a strategy. There may be a part of you that thinks you deserve all of that harmful talk. Or, you may be hoping that if you say horrible things about your body that it will finally motivate you to make a change.
But it’s time to call bullshit on this entire dynamic.
Even though we live in a world that tells us our bodies aren’t good enough, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Cultural beliefs are often wrong. Remember when we thought the world was flat? When smoking was cool? Your body is worthy of respect and care no matter it’s shape, size, gender identity, sexual preference, ability, age or color.
And, if talking shit about your body was going to motivate you to eat "better" and exercise more, wouldn't that have happened in the past few months? In the past few years? In the past few decades?
Shaming never ever inspires positive or loving change. Period.
It's time to stop tolerating this pain.
Why?
Because it hurts and you don't deserve to be hurt.
It's also holding you back from feeling free, peaceful and powerful.
While you're feeling awful about your body, you're hiding the body you have. You may be hiding by wearing black or oversized clothes. Or, maybe you don't really care about how you dress at all and just wear "whatever". You are trying to fly under the radar so you don't get noticed or draw attention to yourself.
You stay quiet and reserved. Speaking up means people will hear you. Showing up means people will see you. When you're in the spotlight, the risk of judgment rises. When you're judging yourself, you’re likely assuming everyone else is judging you too.
And sadly, you may not be wrong. But, you also may not be right. I know. This is a risk you're unwilling to take.
I know you don’t want to feel the way you do about your body. That’s why so many people diet and try to lose weight. They hope that if their body changes, how they feel about their body will change too.
I’m calling bullshit on this too.
If you’re anything like how I was in the past, you’ve been tireless in your pursuit of a better body. And even if it hasn’t translated to all action, you’ve been dreaming and hoping that once your body changes, your life will too. That takes a lot of energy.
It's no longer about waiting until your body changes until you feel better about yourself. It's about changing how you feel and living in your body so you feel better no matter what.
You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin without changing one single thing about your body. You deserve to feel peaceful in your body right now, at this moment.
Fixing the outside doesn't heal the inside. Fixing the outside only re-affirms the shame you feel and validates the belief that your body is wrong or broken.
This is work I do. I guide women to no longer fight with the shame that lives within them, but heal it. I guide women to living inside of their bodies, safely. I guide women to tune in and listen to their inner wisdom. And to care for themselves.
Here are some examples of how I do this…
I “introduce” you to your body and its signals. So you can start to notice the subtle messages that will become clearer over time.
I help you tune into that critical voice and not push it away. When you’re curious, you may discover the voice has a purpose.
When you notice the outside cultural narratives you’ll see that how you feel about your body is not your fault. And then you can take full responsibility for how you treat yourself and your body.
You’ll notice all the ways you’ve been trying to fix your body and realize that’s not moving you to feeling peaceful about your body.
You start actively caring for your body, every damn day. Not with the prescribed way for weight loss, but by tuning into what your body and spirit is really craving and asking for.
Want to explore how I can guide you through a process like this one?
Set up a clarity call with me. On this 45 minute call, we will get to know each other, discover if we are a good fit, and I’ll share with you more details on how we can work together.