The massive relief I felt the morning after I was fired from my job was palpable. I was shocked by how differently I felt. I knew that the office politics, the post-merger tension, the budget cuts, and the bleak financial forecast were all wearing me down. But I had no idea it had a physical effect on me until I was free of it.
It was as if the signals of my body were turned on, bright and blinding. I couldn’t look away if I tried.
This was a pivotal moment for me. I was starting to tune into my body.
I had spent decades fighting with my body, but that’s not what I called it at the time. I was dieting and trying to lose that post-pregnancy weight after having three kids. I was constantly running, biking, and working out. My size ten body just wasn’t slim enough. I saw myself as the “big girl” with big bones. In my mind, my body wasn’t good enough and I needed to make it better.
What I didn’t realize at the time is that by fighting my body, I was disconnected from it.
I know I’m not alone with this. A coaching colleague recently shared with me that he used to live his life from his neck up. This was his way of telling me that he was disconnected from his body too.
We haven’t been taught to tune into our bodies. Are you angry? Let it go. Are you sad? Hide it. Are you not feeling well? Just keep going. Are you tired? Get a coffee.
Over 90% of women are dissatisfied with their bodies. You don’t have to have a poor body image to be disconnected from your body. But if you are unhappy or even hate the body you have, you’re unlikely to want to respect it, and tune into it. Folks with poor body image spend their energy judging their body from the outside. They don’t know how to live inside of it.
My clients share with me time and time again what it’s like to be disassociated and fight with their bodies.
They skip lunch and then get so angry at themselves when they overeat after dinner.
They get emotionally overwhelmed because of a disagreement they had with their boss and can’t find the focus to be productive the rest of the day.
They beat themselves up for not finding time to work out, even though they’re a single mom with two tweens at home, work full-time and are overloaded with volunteer opportunities.
For these folks, their body and their basic needs are dismissed and devalued. We’ve been taught to prioritize productivity and honoring our professional responsibilities over caring for ourselves.
What price are you paying?
Years ago, my body knew what it was like to feel that relief. I’m sure it also knew what it was like to feel the stress and burden I was experiencing in the years leading up to that point. But I didn’t notice or feel that. Instead, I just put my head down and tried to survive it.
What signals from your body are you dismissing?
Do you keep telling yourself that “you can do this” but deep down, you know you’re completely exhausted and depleted?
Are you feeling stuck and are just trying to survive life at work?
It’s not just a price you're paying. There is an opportunity cost you’re missing. When you start to tune into your needs, you’ll know how to manage stress, anxiety and any emotional ups and downs. Your body holds intuition and wisdom. When you tune into your body, you’ll be more creative and connected to your passion and purpose. Instead of fighting yourself, you’ll feel more in the flow because you’re aligned with yourself.
Would you like to move forward professionally, but you’re not sure where to start?
I work with ambitious women that are tired of the struggle with their body image and perfectionism and are ready to move to the next level professionally. If this is you, schedule a clarity call with me to explore how we can work together.