Emotional Eating and COVID-19

Life with COVID-19 is pretty crazy right now.

Have you noticed that your emotions are also pretty intense and volatile?

In no particular order, you may feel:

• Annoyed. Enough already. How much longer do we need to deal with this?

• Worried. What’s going to happen to our economy, our jobs, our health, and our sanity?

• Crazy. Am I the only one not worried about this?

• More Crazy. Why am I worried and those around me aren’t?

• Sad. I’m missing out, those around me are missing out. Life isn’t supposed to work this way.

• Angry. I don’t like not having control over things that are important to me.

• Anxious. I’m worried for the future.

• Relieved. Yes! I get to slow down, catch up on sleep and relax. A forced slow down sounds good to me right now.

• Grateful. My family and friends are safe. I may not be able to get TP at the grocery store, but they have plenty of fresh fruit and veggies. At least I have power in our home and an internet connection.

• Frustrated. I can’t seem to focus or settle down.

• Eager. I’m ready for life to return to normal.

How about all of the above?

I acknowledge you. If this is what you’re experiencing, I understand. I feel it, too. You’re not alone.

You may feel so much that you may turn to food to feel better.

Here’s the thing.

Food can comfort. Food can distract. Food can soothe. Food can make you feel safe.

When your body feels like it’s on overload, food can make you physically feel better.

Food can be all of those things. But it doesn’t have to be.

There are other ways to support and comfort yourself during these unprecedented times.

Now is the time for more self compassion and kindness toward yourself. Let yourself just be with all that you feel.

Why It's Best to Stay in Your Comfort Zone

We’ve all heard of the motivational saying “get out of your comfort zone, it’s where the magic happens“. I’ve even said it to my yoga students back in the day.

And doesn’t it make sense? If we want something to change in our lives, we need to try something new and different. Which, often means, getting uncomfortable.

A few weeks back, my husband and I were on our way to the summit ofAngel’s Landing in Zion National Park. We were over 5,000 ft high when we walked along a very narrow 10 foot long edge. There was nothing on either side of us. No trees, no ledge.

There I was, way outside of my comfort zone. My fear was thick and tangible and I had a hard time noticing my breath. I was trying this hike for the first time. I was pushing past my fear.

And guess what? No magic. None. Not one little bit.

We are all trying to stay motivated, create great things in our lives, and take our health, finances and businesses to the next level.

Yet, getting out of our comfort zone has been misinterpreted to mean set aside our fears, work tirelessly, push and push more, and never give up. For example, these weight loss coaches and fitness experts are telling us to stop being lazy, don’t give up, and don’t be scared.

I’m calling bullshit. I don’t need to tell you how condescending these messages are.

Friends on social media and some of my clients get up at the crack of dawn to work out, have given up or dramatically limited certain food groups from their diets, and have been desperate to find a diet solution that will work. They are truly outside of their comfort zone.

And instead of receiving magic, they get to be exhausted and overwhelmed. And they wonder, how much more uncomfortable do I need to be for good things to happen?

I thanked my lucky stars when Mark and I were both back in our comfort zone. About ⅓ of the hike was enough for us. It was then that I noticed the sign. There have been 10 deaths on Angel’s Landing since 2004. Just this past November, a 19 year old woman had fallen off the trail and died.

The truth is, magic can happen in our comfort zone. We don’t need to believe these taunts that we need to be doing more and smashing our fears for good things to happen.

Amazing things happen when we are confidently connected to ourselves and our bodies. And that, is the best place to be.

Feeling like something is wrong with you when it comes to getting healthy? Here’s why…

Dude, your generation is in bad shape.

When I ate this way, I felt like my body was levitating.

Vegetables are a waste of time.

Berries are the answer to curing cancer.

Anxiety and depression aren’t real.

These were just a FEW of the comments that my husband and I sadly, couldn’t help but overhear in a tiny coffee shop outside of Zion National Park last week.

We were trying to enjoy our breakfast when a couple started sharing their health opinions and recommendations to a mother and her adult son.

I could feel the heat of anger in my chest. My mind was debating; stay and politely tell them to be quiet or pack up our meal and leave? Instead, shocked and hoping the conversation would soon stop, we sat and endured. Not so coincidentally, my breakfast was tasteless and bland.

Our encounter with this over sharing health advice couple seemed a bit like taking a trip to Crazy Town.

We inherently know we would never tell someone who to vote for. Or where to pray. Those choices are personal and private.

When it comes to advice around food, things get sticky. We’ve been told that eating in a certain way can improve our health, and in some cases, cure disease. We’ve even seen documentaries on Netflix and bought the books of those that have increased their athletic performance, cured their cancer, and reduced symptoms of autism because of their diet. Wow! Receiving advice on what to eat doesn’t seem to be something to take lightly. Based on some accounts, what we eat may really change our life.

Yet, what happens to the majority of the people like you and I, that don’t necessarily need to cure ourselves from autoimmune or a thyroid condition, and just want to feel better?

The problem is that the majority of the health advice around food that we read in books, online and in our social feeds comes in the form of a diet. Please know, they may tell you their plan is just a lifestyle change, but, it’s still a diet.

Diets offer us rules to follow, like what to eat (hello, whole 30), when to eat (thank you, intermittent fasters), and how much to eat (like Weight Watchers and calorie trackers).

Our bodies and our minds are NOT designed to diet. When we restrict our caloric intake, our body reacts by demanding larger quantities of food and our minds are preoccupied with when our next meal will arrive. Thank goodness! We are designed to not let ourselves starve.

Diets result in long term weight gain, decreased metabolism, muscle mass and levels of leptin (the hormone that triggers signs of fullness).

Diets harm our bodies, but more importantly, when we can’t stick to the rules of a diet, we feel like we’re failing. We feel like we could be eating better. We feel disgusted when we get out of control around food. And because most diets are health advice in disguise, we may feel like we are failing at keeping ourselves healthy, fit and set to live a long life.

The truth is we’ve been living in Crazy Town, where diet culture barrages us with advice, rules and fairytale stories on how to improve our health by eating in a way that fights against the natural instincts of our minds and bodies. It’s very hard to recognize at times, but so important that we do.

At one point, the son at the coffee shop asked the man, do you always eat this way? He said, Oh no man, it’s so hard. I slip up all of the time. I have to work really hard at it.

We all want the same thing. We want to be healthy, happy and live a long active life. Getting there means we need to create our own unique path of vitality and wellness. Maybe this man, even though he’s sharing all of his Crazy Town health advice, also feels like he’s doing it wrong and that he’s failing at his health because he’s not doing it perfectly.

Crazy Town doesn’t give anyone a get out of jail free card. Our only immunity is recognizing it around us.

He (said he) had a breakfast burrito in a take out bag. I just hope he enjoyed the hell out of it.

Let's witness all bodies! Join The Real Body Challenge!

Our children are brilliant at expressing themselves, wearing what they want to wear and adorning themselves with clothing articles they love. Check out this old pic of my daughter Anna. They aren't afraid of being seen.

Somewhere along the way, many of us decided it wasn’t safe to show our full bodies. We learned to cover up, wear dark clothing, and do our best to hide.

We hide to avoid criticism. We hide to avoid unwanted attention. We hide because we don’t even find our own body acceptable.

Hiding our bodies may be so commonplace that you don’t even think twice about it. You may be wondering, what’s the big deal?

This is heartbreaking to me. When we are so uncomfortable being seen, we aren’t just hiding our bodies, we are hiding ourselves.

When we hide our legs, we also hide our heart, passions and wisdom. When we hide our hips, we also hide our thoughts, opinions and feelings. When we hide our belly, we don’t believe we are worth seeing.

Last week, I shared my full body on social. My friends jumped in and said, yes, it’s time. Let’s emerge and be willing to be seen. Very quickly, The Real Body Challenge was created!

No need to justify, apologize or defend our bodies. Let’s witness all bodies. All bodies are real bodies. All bodies are worth seeing.

Everyone can participate in The Real Body Challenge.

Post a full body, unedited picture of yourself on social media. Tag #therealbodychallenge

Tag our sponsors: @tarahwhitney @petralehmanyoga @createpoweryoga

Follow #therealbodychallenge

When you see pictures posted, you are welcome to:

➡️Simply view it.

➡️Like the picture.

➡️Comment “I see you. Thank you for sharing”.

Let’s create a safe container for everyone to share themselves. NO need to offer our opinions on their bodies. Your view of their body doesn’t need any assessment or praise. NO need to include comments like “you look great”, “you look beautiful”.

This challenge is to be simply witnessed, without fear or need for anyone’s affirmation or confirmation.

Let’s flood social media with real bodies! Please join us and spread the word!

Love~ Tara

Believing in Magic

My husband has been sharing the Few Good Men Santa Parody to anyone who will watch it with him, which had me thinking about Santa and believing in magic.

I was one of those kids that believed in Santa Claus well into middle school. I didn’t shout from the rooftops, but instead, kept my it quietly to myself. If kids talked in the lunchroom or on the bus around not believing, I would stay silent. No need to argue with them, I thought. They were just misinformed.

I was in awe with the mystery of Santa and his inhuman ability to travel across the world at lightning speed in one single day and witness (and judge) the behavior of children without knowing them.

Because the story of Santa was told by my elders, in TV shows, and in well-known books, I had a hard time believing they were not telling me the truth. A young and naive part of me didn't want to acknowledge their deception, well-meaning or not.

Despite evidence to the contrary, I loved believing in the merry and joyful spirit of Santa. Because of that, I held onto the belief that I wanted to believe for much longer than my peers did.

I also used to believe in diets and the need to lose weight. I lost weight on Weight Watchers in my early thirties and shared with friends and family how I did it. I stepped on a scale weekly, carefully monitoring my progress toward my goal. I read Shape magazine and religiously followed their advice. I bought countless diet books that I wouldn’t have called diet books. I called them ways to get lean and healthy.

For decades, I believed that I would be happier and healthier if I was thinner. I believed in the magic of weight loss.

Yet, there was evidence that the magic of weight loss didn't exist. When I was dieting and restricting, I was obsessed with what I weighed. My mind was always on food. I was always questioning myself and wondered if I could be eating better and exercising harder. I was always seeking, determined to find someone who could tell me how I could get thin. All of this was freakin' exhausting. Was this health? Was this happiness? If so, how come the sacrifices were so great?

When I started doubting the magic of weight loss, I had to question many well educated and authoritative experts that claimed to know so much about nutrition, health, transformation, and weight loss. I had to acknowledge their deception, purposeful or not.

This path of health, weight loss and food is so conflicting and confusing, isn't it { } ? How are you coping and navigating it?

When I was believing in the magic of weight loss, I was really believing in the spirit of our highest health and well-being.

I knew that the magic of weight loss doesn't exist when I realized that our vitality can't be measured in terms of pounds or dress size. It has to be felt in our hearts and bodies.

We know that the magic of Christmas doesn't come in packages, red suits or just arrives on December 25th. The magic of Christmas lives within us. Just like our highest health and well-being does.

What I See in the Peloton Commercials That You May Not

Peloton, a high-end spin bike company, has some interesting commercials this holiday season. So interesting that major news channels are weighing in and Peloton’s share price is feeling it.

In one commercial, a woman was gifted a Peloton by her husband. She vlogs her year long journey with her Peloton, which includes rise and shine 6am workouts and her ‘come hell or high water’ determination to ride 5 days in a row.

In another, a few men and women are riding their Peloton right after Santa paid his visit on Christmas morning, while their families are nestled in their beds. Peloton claims “our kind of joy feels different”.

Twitter is blowing up. Youtube parodies are getting massive views. Daytime talk shows are having a field day with this.

I’ll toss my own two cents in, as a transformational coach who guides women to create freedom around food and trust their own bodies. And as someone who has owned her own spin bike for over 15 years. I have a few of my old “Spinerval” workouts memorized when they played in the DVD player so often. I was doing my own version of Peloton back in the day.

Peloton is doing what all companies do: market their products so they can increase sales. I’m suspecting that Peloton is targeting the fitness freak (and I say this with love as I have fitness freak running through my blood). Fitness freaks don’t need to be coaxed to go to the gym. We happily set our alarm for 4:30am to get to an early morning workout class. When training for a marathon, we know that our running shoes don’t recognize holidays as a day off.

There is a very important unspoken undercurrent to Peloton’s ads that’s extremely impactful. Peloton is showing us a persona, likely their ideal customer. Someone who can afford their $2,000 plus price tag, who have supportive families that don’t mind them working out at any hour of the day or night, spend their days in a corporate office, and live in nice homes in very comfortable suburban neighborhoods.

Peloton riders appear healthy, committed, disciplined, and focused. Each with a big smile on their face. We see successful, attractive, and happy.

There is also a common denominator with each rider. They are thin.

Before you say, “Of course. They have a Peloton! They are working at it. They deserve to be thin. What’s wrong with that?”

Consider what Peloton is really selling us. It’s not a workout bike. It’s a way to get fit. It’s convenience. It’s variety and intensity. They are also selling us financial comfort, loving families and happiness. Based on what we see in Peloton commercials, this comes with thinness.

This is diet culture and its EVERYWHERE. It’s like a gas we can’t see, smell or taste. It often goes undetected.

Christy Harrison describes diet culture as “a system of beliefs that… worships thinness..., promotes weight loss as a means of attaining higher status..., and demonizes certain ways of eating while elevating others....”. See her blog post for more.

For years, I didn’t even know that diet culture was a thing. What I did know was that I needed to have a smaller body. Which meant I needed to lose weight. Being thin and my happiness was both dependent and interdependent. Meaning, I thought I’d be happier if I was thinner AND I couldn’t truly be happy and content if I wasn’t as thin as I could be. In my mind, happiness = thinness.

I lived with this belief for a long time without realizing that a cultural mechanism instilled it into my being. I never questioned the belief that thin people are successful, happier and more attractive until I learned about diet culture.

Have you been able to recognize diet culture for yourself?

When I did recognize that it was “them, not me”, I slowly started to break up with diet culture. I wish I could say that it was abrupt and immediate. It wasn’t. It took me a while to recognize all of the deception. I held onto a false hope that diets could still work for me. I held on to a small amount of naivete that wanted to believe in the good intentions of companies over the profits they wanted to make.

Sadly, Peloton is in very good company when it sends us the message that thinness is superior. Billions of dollars are being made by companies like them every year that send a similar message.

If you are hearing about diet culture for the first time, I invite you to continue to watch your social feed, notice TV ads, and listen to conversations with a new perspective. The messages are subtle and sneaky.

You have to become aware of a belief before you can change it. When you realize that you’ve been holding your own assumptions around how we value ourselves based on the size of our body, it’s time to question those beliefs.

Is that belief true?

And, when you believe it, what impact does it have on how you feel, the choices you make and how you see the world?

Peloton can go ahead and market it’s a$$ off by slinking in during half time when our favorite football team is playing. You may also have a Peloton or something like it and, like me, love to get your fitness fix in on the daily.

Even so, we need to recognize that our happiness and success in life has nothing to do with the size of our body.

Thank you Peloton, for this reminder!

One of the Biggest Challenges When Shifting Your Relationship with Food

I spoke with two women this week, let’s call them Joan and Veronica, that started dieting and struggling with their weight when they were 8 years old. (*$% Ugh! ) 

Over the past few decades, they’ve both created their own perspective around their relationship with food. Some common beliefs or perspectives of long-time dieters can sound like this: 

• I’ll always struggle with sugar and carbs. 

• My weight has always been a battle for me. 

• I need to be diligent and really organized with meal plans to stay on track. 

• I can’t have one bite of dessert without spiraling out of control. 

• I’m not consistent at working out. Getting to the gym takes a lot of effort. 

Joan and Veronica suspected that something was keeping them stuck, but they couldn’t put their finger on it. 

Your own perspective, the beliefs, and thoughts you’ve collected, are often quiet and subtle. You’ve carried them around for so long that you may not even notice them. They may nag at you like a pebble would at the bottom of your sneaker. 

And this is one of the biggest challenges when changing your relationship with food. 

Your perspective doesn’t force you into a big ugly cry that brings you to your knees. Instead, you learn to live with these beliefs and likely don’t realize the impact it has on making changes in the future.

Our perspective and the beliefs we hold can either work for us or work against us. When we believe things will “always” be a certain way, we’re trapped. It’s hard to create a new way out.  

I’ll tell you what I shared with Joan and Veronica. 

You can change your relationship with food. You can leave dieting behind and practice trusting your body. These beliefs can be undone (often it’s easier than you could ever imagine!). 

The first critical step is to recognize the perspective you’ve created. Then, challenge it. Is it true that you’ll always struggle with food? Is it true that after one bite of a dessert you’ll spiral out of control? 

When you no longer have a limiting perspective, you can create a relationship with food that feels right to you. You can then move into ease. What’s possible for you with your relationship with food?

I just love that perspective!  Don’t you? 

Does dieting help you lose weight?

We all know the answer. No. Of course not. Isn’t it common knowledge that dieting doesn’t work? 

Oh, wait, you haven’t heard? In that case, check out this research study. Or this study of dieting, weight gain, and children. Or, try this one. Wait, one more. 

But, we don’t need research articles to tell us something we’ve learned from experience. 

Remember your first diet? The first time I tried Weight Watchers, it worked. Really well. I was relentless with my point counting, recipe researching, and meal planning. After a few months, I was back to my high school weight. Success. 

Even before I started Weight Watchers, I had heard some rumblings about how dieting didn’t work. I even heard that dieting led to weight gain. But I thought, No. Not me. 

Those statistics don’t apply to me. 

I’m disciplined. I’m focused. 

I’m a good dieter. 

I’d prove them wrong. 

I’d be the exception.  

I’d be in the 5% that could diet and keep the weight off. 

I’d be special.

We both know how this story goes. The weight stays off until it doesn’t.

When I tried Weight Watchers a second time after the birth of my second son, I thought that if it worked once, it should work again, right? I started with all of the same intentions and motivations. I was determined. 

Yet, after a few days, I’d forget to log my points in. I’d let myself snack on a bagel from my office’s break room. I’d make a big batch of veggie soup on Sunday but it would stay in the fridge, untouched. I’d throw out a head of lettuce or zucchini at the end of the week because they went bad. 

Basically, I was really disinterested. And, no matter how good my self pep talk was every morning, I couldn’t stick to dieting.

Can you relate?  

Not being able to successfully diet was secretly devastating to me. How could I lose weight if I couldn’t diet? What other options do I have? 

Without dieting, you may fear being out of control around food. You may worry you’ll be overeating all the time or binging on ice cream or cookies. You may be so afraid you’ll gain weight. I also know that fear and hopelessness. 

For motivated and action-oriented women like you and I, the worst thing you can do is give us a problem without a way to solve it. We will keep trying something over and over until we find something that works. That’s just the way we’re wired. We don’t like failing and we don’t like giving up. 

So, today, if you are in this place, I want to offer you a concrete action step. Something you can do that may spark some hope inside of you. Something that moves you toward letting go of something that doesn’t work and doesn’t serve you. 

Reacquaint yourself with your own physical hunger and fullness. The best way to do this is to be in conversation with your body. Ask your body questions and be willing to listen for answers. 

What does your hunger feel like in your body? When you spend time with it, you may be surprised that it’s not just an empty belly. 

What does feeling satisfied or content feel like in your body? Notice your energy levels. 

I invite you to get curious and interested in what your body is willing to share. After years of dieting, we turn away from our body’s signals and turn toward rules, lists and calorie trackers. We both know this doesn’t work. The research just confirms our own intuition. 

When Relatives Comment on Your Food Choices

The comments drop like silent bombs. They may come out of nowhere. Or, you’ve been holding your breath, knowing they will eventually arrive. 

You can feel that family member, so-called friend, or co-worker watching what you are about to eat so slyly.  The words to follow will just be a matter of time. 

Are you going to eat all of that?

Are there any cookies left? (code for: did YOU eat all of the cookies?)  

Boy, that’s a lot of food. 

Ya know, I’m really cutting down on my carbs and I feel a lot better. You should try it. (while you have a plate of pasta). 

Hmmph (with a disappointing look). 

The words sting and shock you. Even if they’ve made comments about what you’ve eaten in the past. You may feel it like a punch in the gut. Or, like they just threw a black blanket of shame over you. 

This sucks. There are no other words for it. 

When someone else comments on what you are eating or how much you are eating, there is no doubt that they’ve just invaded you personally.

In big DIET culture, we are regularly having conversations around what we are eating and drinking. Magazines are sharing high profile star’s meal plans under the heading of “find out how so and so lost 20 pounds in 10 days”. Social media proudly gives us a checklist of fat-fighting foods. Even gyms, yoga studios and cross-fit boxes have jumped into the conversation and share diet tips and food challenges with their members. 

So, it’s not surprising that these conversations trickle into our homes and social circles. Yet, with the holidays and family festivities fast approaching, what do you do when you are just waiting for your least favorite aunt to comment on the ice cream you put on your apple pie? Or when your cousin wants to show you her calorie tracking app and her clean eating recipes? 

This dynamic may be so commonplace that you don’t even recognize how destructive it is. You may recognize your anger or annoyance toward the person, but there is something underneath the surface that’s also happening.

They’re challenging your choices. They are questioning your ability to eat in a certain way. There is a subtle or not so subtle implication that they know how you should be eating better than you do. 

Now, in DIET culture, we are all being convinced that certain foods hold a life or death quality to them. You should not eat xyz food because it will make you diabetic, fat, unhealthy, give you heart disease and high blood pressure.  You should eat more abc food because it will reduce inflammation, fill you with vitamins and minerals and make you feel light and clean. 

I will not dispute or deny the value that food has on your health. However, I will absolutely dispute that someone else holds 100% of the answers of how food impacts your health better than you do. AND, I will absolutely dispute that someone else (your mother, a health coach, or diet company) should be telling you how to eat, how much to eat and when to eat without your own active participation in the process. 

As a collective society, we’ve lost sight of an important fact. Our body knows how to thrive, how much food it needs and when it wants to eat. 

Instead, the messages we’ve been receiving have been pretty clear. Don’t trust yourself. Someone else knows better than you. AND, if you think you’re overweight, you’ve really screwed up. You definitely need the counsel of an expert. What in the world?!

DIET culture has created righteous soldiers, broadcasting these messages around food and letting people know what’s right and what’s wrong. It’s crazy condescending and super obnoxious. 

Here’s the thing. We don’t need to be fighting these soldiers. We don’t need to be arming ourselves with weapons, arguing with them and making them wrong. That would take up way too much of our own precious energy. 

And we have more important things to focus on. Like connecting with our body. Listening to our intuition. And becoming more and more in tune with ourselves. 

Can you imagine having so much confidence around your relationship with food this holiday season, that when these silent bombs get dropped, you can just softly smile, set a boundary and move on with enjoying the celebration? 

That’s my wish for you. Holidays are a precious time. Let’s not get distracted by food and those that want to tell you what and how to eat, but instead, enjoy what we choose to eat, relax because we know how to nourish our bodies and spend time connecting with loved ones. 

Why the Body Image Crisis is a BFD

A research study of over 5,000 women of various body weights between 25 and 89 years old concluded that body dissatisfaction in the United States is omnipresent. Omnipresent is a pretty fancy word for simply saying every woman everywhere.

91% of the women in the study wished for a slimmer and smaller figure. Take a moment to let that sink in.

When I consider my daughter, her friends and teammates, my heart breaks. This study didn’t even include her social media generation. Yet, I think we both know the results would be the same.

It’s really hard to listen and care for something you dislike. I treat my beloved car now completely differently than the minivan, filled with goldfish cracker crumbs and empty sippy cups, I drove when the kids were toddlers.

Our body holds important information that’s worth listening to and it’s important that we respect it. When it comes to your relationship with food, your body knows when you’re hungry and when you’re full. Your body holds sadness, frustration, stress, overwhelm or anger.

When it comes to your relationship with food, changing your relationship to your body is key.

By disliking our body, without realizing it, we’ve turned away from this vital source. Our body offers us wisdom and intuition. It’s our way of knowing what we feel, what lights us up and what drags us down. Our body offers us warning signals when situations may be unsafe and it’s remarkable at keeping itself in balance.

Our body is our connection to something bigger than our individual selves.

We’ve been given a body so we can navigate our way through life. Our body is so eager to guide us. We need to appreciate what it offers us.

If something doesn’t change, I don’t think our young girls stand a chance to appreciate and respect their own source of power.

We need to model for them a different way. For them and for ourselves. Don't you agree?

Interested in changing how you feel about your body? Here is ONE thing you can do right now:

Get curious around the sensations in your body. Notice lightness, heaviness and tension. Spend a few moments every day becoming aware of these sensations and notice how they change. Maybe they become more intense, move or eventually dissolve. You don’t need to try to change the sensations, just observe them.

Practice connecting to what's happening on the inside and eventually, your view of your whole body will change.

Done with dieting? Yet, wondering why your relationship with food hasn't improved?

Let’s chat if you’re so done with dieting. You know diets don’t work. You are tired of sacrificing and restricting. You know that it’s just not worth it.

Would you like to feel peaceful around food and your body? That’s what I wanted most. I wanted to just relax around food and appreciate my body’s strength. I also wondered if maybe, someday, I could even love my body. Imagine that?! 

When I recognized that dieting was getting in my way of feeling peaceful around food, I felt like I was walking into unchartered territory. Dieting was all I knew, but I didn’t want to do it. I no longer wanted to diet and restrict what I ate. Yet, my relationship with food and my body wasn’t getting any better. I was still overeating. I was still feeling guilty. I was still worried about gaining weight. Doesn’t sound so peaceful, does it? 

Can you see yourself in that uncharted territory with food? I found the hardest part about being in this place was that I was constantly questioning myself. Could I trust myself to stay in control around food? Did I always need the security of a diet plan? Was I eating the right thing? 

Here’s the thing. Dieting habits lingers. We so dutifully follow certain rules when we were trying to lose weight. When we stop dieting, the rules don’t just disappear. Instead, they stick around. A part of us, possibly without realizing it, still tries to follow these rules that are so ingrained in us. 

There are some common dieting symptoms that I’ve noticed with my clients. Check these out. They may give you a good idea if you may still be dieting without realizing it. 

1. You’re always thinking about food and when you will eat again. You’re searching for recipes and talking about what you just ate or plan to eat with friends and coworkers. 

2. Before you eat, you consider if you “should be eating that”. Should you be hungry? Should you eat that piece of cake? Should you have the stir fry or the cheeseburger? Food decisions are made from your head and not from your body.   

3. You’re trying to “be good” by not eating certain foods or not eating during certain times of the day. You try to not eat before 12pm or after 7pm. You try to eat only 3 meals a day or just 2 meals a day or 3 meals a day and 2 snacks a day. 

4. You plan for big meals or certain food treats by limiting other meals or increasing exercise. You plan to burn off that dessert with a spin class, long run or extra time in the gym. You’ll skip breakfast for lunch out even though you’re hungry.  Or, you’ll eat a small meal in anticipation for a big one even when your body wanted more food at the time. 

5. You’re counting, either in your head or on an app how many points, grams or calories you’ve just eaten. You’re budgeting for how much more you can eat. 

Considering these symptoms for yourself can help you create more awareness around your relationship with food. When you realize that old patterns may be holding you back, you can let them go. We can’t let go of something we don’t realize we’re holding onto. 

If dieting is still lingering in your relationship with food and you’re interested in finding a way to a peaceful place, check out The Connection Experiment. This 14-day online program offers you concrete practices on listening to your intuitive body’s wisdom and ultimately, feel relaxed around food. 

You may feel like you’re in uncharted territory now. But you don’t need to be there for long. The practice of connecting with your body is simpler than you may think. I discuss this at length in Hungry: Trust Your Body and Free Your Mind around Food. Check out a copy for yourself! 

And lastly. Let me offer you ONE simple thing that I find so helpful. When you feel uncertain and are questioning how to make food choices, take a few moments and become aware of your breathing. Feel your breath. Watch it. Listen to it. Your breath is a concrete physical experience that can calm and center you. Let your breath remind you that you’ve got this. 

With love and connection~ 

Tara