You don’t need to hear about one more research study that tells you that dieting doesn’t work. You know it for a fact. You’re tired of the rollercoaster that inevitably brings you false hope, guilt, and frustration. Reflecting on your diets, you can’t deny that all they’ve brought you is stress and weight gain.
This is a pivotal moment.
Or, you’re not yet ready to divorce dieting.
Dieting and trying to lose weight may be all you know. You recognize the stress of the sacrifice, but part of you may be afraid of the unknown. The devil you know is better than the one you don’t, right?
Whether you were ready yesterday to give up dieting or you’d like to someday, you’re embarking on an emotional process.
Your mind may say one thing, but be aware of your need to grieve, recognize fears, acknowledge losses, and summon courage as you move forward.
When we diet, we are buying into a promise of a better body and a better life.
Diet culture has sold us on this promise. As you consider letting go of dieting, part of you may be wondering, “Will I ever be truly happy and successful if I’m not working to change my body?”.
You may need to grieve, processing a blend of anger and sadness. You may feel furious at the diets that have failed you and with yourself for being duped into their false promises. You may notice a sadness for the lost time and energy you’ve dedicated to dieting. You may feel remorse around how you’ve neglected your body and neglected being included in family photographs.
Give yourself space and grace to notice how dieting and trying to lose weight has been part of your life.
Did you diet with friends and family? Have you felt the connection of community when you’ve been working toward a common goal? When you got together with girlfriends, did you talk about calories, recipes, and weight loss hacks?
Whether it’s served you not, part of your need to belong may have been filled while dieting. Letting go of one community and seeking out another may feel daunting.
The comforts of dieting, tracking, and measuring may offer you a way to feel in control.
I heard from a client trained as an engineer around her experience with dieting. She shared “I like structure. I like measuring and tracking.”
Oh, she’s singing to the choir. As a CPA, numbers and measuring still comfort me. I love spending time on spreadsheets.
Yet, reconciling how you truly feel in control is an important step.
Do you ever feel that real sense of security at your core when you’re trying to control yourself to follow the rules of a plan you’re imposing on yourself?
For me, I could never be fully satisfied when trying to meet the demands of a diet. I was never doing enough and I thought I could always do it better.
Feeling in control is elusive. We don’t feel in control around dieting, dieting is a way of controlling us.
You may have tried to eat without the rules of a diet. One cookie wasn’t enough and it quickly got out of hand. Without rules, you’ve concluded, it’s not safe. In your mind, you’ve been believing that you need rigor and focus to keep yourself on track.
This is where diets are so destructive. They convince us that our bodies aren’t to be trusted by teaching us to neglect the basic sensations of hunger and fullness. There is a good chance that when you tried to not diet, you were still following dieting rules. When we are in a restriction cycle of dieting, overeating is the inevitable outcome.
Is there a part of you that says “why I can’t I eat freely? Why can’t I simply enjoy food? Why can’t food be easy?”
The answer is “Yes, it can be.”
No matter where you and what you’re considering for yourself, let this process unfold in a way that feels right to you. There is no need to force it. I honor you and your willingness to consider a relationship with food without diets.