Because the conversations you’re having with yourself matter. A lot.
We have conversations in our minds all of the time, often without noticing them. More often than not, the conversations we have with ourselves today are the same ones we had yesterday.
And the day before.
And the day before that.
When it comes to your relationship with food, these conversations play a critical role. You’re already having a conversation in your mind around food. They may sound like this:
“Today will be different. I’ll eat the right things and not overeat.”
“I’ve got this, today I won’t eat too many carbs.”
“I’m going to the gym today to burn off those calories from yesterday.”
These conversations may sound beneficial on the surface, but if you consider the words more carefully, you’ll notice these words may not be helpful at all.
You’re trying to stay in control. You’re trying to be disciplined. You’re not trusting yourself around certain foods. These conversations are really weapons as you continue to fight yourself around food.
Stop Fighting With Yourself Around Food
Fighting with yourself around food takes a lot of energy. Our desire for weight loss often means we’re restricting and dieting, which creates a cycle of deprivation. Our bodies aren’t designed to tolerate deprivation, which is why you likely overeat and binge. You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s the mechanism of dieting that’s making your body react the way it is.
Conversations that encourage more restriction and compliance aren’t kind and certainly don’t fuel a healthy relationship with food.
What’s the Best Way To Avoid This Endless Fight?
Start with noticing these conversations.
Which may be challenging. The dialogue has been there for so long and shows up on the daily, you’re likely not even distinguishing it as something harmful.
The conversations in my mind had me waking dutifully at 5:30 and into my running shoes. I needed to burn the calories from the day before. Today needed to be different.
While pounding the pavement, I’d often rethink and beat myself up for what I ate the day before.
“Why did I eat that bagel? I shouldn’t have eaten that ice cream last night. I’d finish my run with a plan. More salad. More discipline.” I told myself, “I’ve got this. Today would indeed be different.”
But that never happened. It was always Groundhog Day all over again.
This is why I want to offer you a new conversation to have with yourself.
“I Give Myself Permission To…”
One of my favorite phrases opens up a new way to be around food, with more kindness and compassion — “I give myself permission….”
Instead of forcing yourself into being disciplined and compliant, consider how you can give yourself permission to:
Listen to your body.
Recognize your hunger and nourish yourself when your body is eager for food.
Rest.
Give yourself a break from work.
Walk instead of run.
New Possibilities
You may be labeling how you eat in one of two ways; good or bad. Yet, when you start having a gentler conversation with yourself, you’ll start caring for yourself differently. You may notice your own willingness to prioritize simple needs, like rest and adequate nourishment.
Go ahead, give yourself permission. After all, you’re the only one who can.