If you’re practicing Intuitive Eating, or just curious what it would be like to go by yourself to an ice cream shop order whatever you’d like to order, and eat with no guilt, shame or remorse, then read on.
After a long bike ride along the Tampa riverwalk and shore drive, I knew I wanted soft serve ice cream. On the short drive to Mr Penguin, a vision came to mind. Chocolate and vanilla swirl in a cup. With chocolate jimmies. Of course.
As I was enjoying my swirl on the outdoor picnic tables, a mom with her toddler and young baby settled in nearby. I overheard the toddler asking his mother, “why does she get a big one?”. “Because she’s an adult.”, Mom quickly replied.
For a half a beat, I was self-conscious. Should I have ordered a kiddie? Did I deserve to eat medium size? Old conversations, the ones I had with myself when I was dieting and restricting, came flooding back.
And I noticed these thoughts. Without getting caught up in what could have been interpreted as judgement or criticism (by a 3 year old ;)), I pivoted. I felt relaxed as I enjoyed the rest of my ice cream.
Here’s how I reconnected with my Intuitive Eating practice.
Rules Need Not Apply
It all started well before the thought of soft serve even entered my mind on that warm February day. Weeks, months, even years before. I stopped following dieting rules.
Even more importantly, I reconciled within myself that dieting, namely allowing a weight loss program, an “expert”, or protocol, with their rules and lists of what I could eat or couldn’t eat, was harmful to my health.
Harmful to my health?, you may be asking. Am I being a bit dramatic? No. Not even close. I noticed that every time I said I couldn’t have something, I wanted it even more. Every time I told myself I was going to be “good” and eat healthier, I ate cheese, crackers and chocolate for dinner.
I didn’t arrive at this overnight. Not like Kelly Diels did. She shared on my Hungry: Trust Your Body. Free Your Mind podcast how she woke up one morning, realized that dieting and restricting foods was making her complicit with the societal rules that women need to be thin to be desirable.
The moment Kelly connected those dots in her mind was the moment that she decided, when it came to food, she would never betray her body again. Like a switch that got turned off, she stopped dieting on the spot.
If you want to eat ice cream with freedom and ease, you can’t have a rule inside of you that says you can’t, shouldn’t, need to earn it, allow it only because it’s on a cheat day, or saying “fuck it” I’ll eat whatever the hell I want to eat.
To eat intuitively, practice letting go of the external rules and restrictive mindset around food.
Curiosity and Consulting Your Body
With rules, you now consult another source of wisdom: yourself.
Ask yourself a series of questions. These questions aren’t directed at your brain, that holds the ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’ts’. The questions are directed at the whole of you, your body, your mind, your soul.
How hungry am I?
What am I hungry for?
What would I enjoy eating?
What would taste really good?
How do I want to feel after I’ve eaten?
Take the time to play out some scenarios and see how your body reacts to each one.
When I was considering soft serve, I wasn’t hungry for something nutritionally dense, like a full meal. I wanted something cold. I even considered an iced coffee. Conveniently, there was a coffee shop next to the bike shop. But no. Soft serve it was.
Eat with Your Attention
As I sat on the picnic table, I wasn’t on my phone. As with most of my meals now, when I sit to eat, eating is the only thing I’m doing.
I noticed how the ice cream tasted. Which was some of the best soft serve I’ve had (Dairy Queen, take notice!). I enjoyed bite after bite.
You likely know how to eat mindfully. When it comes to intuitive eating, you’re not doing it as a way to stop yourself from eating too much. You’re eating with all of your attention so you can fully enjoy food.
Permission to Eat More
When I ordered a medium, I did it as a reminder that I could have as much ice cream as I wanted. This is my way of reminding myself that I’m not restricting or limiting. I can’t tolerate restriction and I don’t want to trigger my mind to think a diet is coming.
When you eat intuitively, you allow yourself enough food that feels right to you. It’s not the smallest one, a tiny bite or just a square.
In the beginning of your intuitive eating journey, you may need to heal past diet trauma so your body is confident that you’ll give it enough nourishment.
Sweet Satisfaction
There comes a point when the sensation arrives. This is the magic of intuitive eating. That point of satisfaction. When it arrives, it can’t be disputed. It doesn’t matter how much you’ve eaten or how much you have left.
As I was eating my soft serve, I noticed the moment when every part of me was perfectly content. I knew that I could take another bite if I chose to, but why would I? It wouldn’t serve me, support me or give me more pleasure in what I’m eating.
Without rules or someone or something telling me what I should eat or not eat, I know this truth within myself because my body and awareness told me so.