All humans want to belong and feel worthy of connection.
Diet culture tells us that thin bodies are healthier, more attractive, successful and lovable.
The cultural narrative from the patriarchy is that women need to do it all and have it all under control.
Feeling worthy of belonging isn’t something we need to earn. However, we’ve been told we need to be thin and perfect to feel successful, worthy and lovable.
I call this the Promise of the Thin and Perfect.
The Promise of the Thin and Perfect has been in place for generations. We were born into it. So were our parents. And grandparents. We haven’t known any other way to feel good about ourselves except to pursue thinness (or maintain it) and perfectionism.
The assumption is something is wrong.
Your body is wrong if it’s not thin enough.
You’re wrong unless you show the world you have your shit together.
Dieting and proving are ways to fix.
Dieting is a way we try to fix our bodies. When restricting food and increasing exercise, we hope for a thin body.
Proving is a way of showing those around us (and even ourselves) that we are enough.
We've been given a harmful solution.
Dieting leads to long term weight gain, reduces metabolism, and makes dieters more susceptible to eating disorders.
Dieting also makes dieters feel like a failure, robs them of time and energy and distracts them from what's more important in their life.
Proving is fuckin' exhausting. When proving, you can never do enough. As a result, you rarely carve out time to care for yourself or tune into your needs. Proving leads to burn out.
When proving, you will only feel good about yourself when others validate you.
Dieting and proving only offer faux safety and faux control.
If dieting and proving were a valid solution, you would reliably feel peaceful, connected and satisfied.
Instead, you likely feel like you’re on a gerbil wheel and can’t get off.
Because diet culture tells you dieting works and you’re encouraged to show the world the put together version of yourself, you likely feel trapped.
You keep trying to diet better and prove harder.
We’ve been duped. The Promise of the Thin and Perfect has always been broken.
It was NEVER designed to make you feel worthy and successful. It was only designed to leave you distracted, feeling like a failure and most importantly, disconnected from your body.
Dieting is a way of proving. Thinness is a form of perfectionism.
They are cut from the same cloth.
You can only feel peaceful and connected, attractive, and worthy when you're connected to your body.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. This is what my second book is about! Does it land for you?