In my early 20’s, I was seeing a therapist around my relationship with food. He told me that in order to stay in control around food that I’d need to write down what I ate every single day.
OMG. I was SO angry. And conflicted.
On one hand, it felt like an easy sacrifice to make. Is this all it took? I just needed to write down what I ate every day and I’d be “cured”?
On the other hand, I felt like he just sent me to hell on earth. I had to record every single meal, every single bite and morsel of food I ate. For the rest of my life.
I had this vision of carrying around a notebook and pen in my purse, discretely taking it out at a restaurant table and writing everything down.
Iced tea. With a slice of lemon.
¾ of a Grilled Chicken Sandwich with pesto.
Sweet potato fries.
Pickle.
A few hours later, when I snacked on baby carrots or yogurt, I got to record that in my trusty little notebook too.
I’d have to do this on vacation, after Christmas brunch and on Friday evenings before I sat down on the couch to watch a movie. Uggh!
What angered and scared me the most about what my therapist told me was that I could never be free around food. He promised me that I’d always be tethered to a food journal. I’d have a daily reminder that my relationship with food was that screwed up and it could only be fixed with sacrifice and diligence.
There was a part of me that suspected he was wrong. I didn't have the words for it at the time to explain why. After all, he had a bunch of letters before and after his name. He was suppose to be an expert. Right?
I thought back to how I ate as a child. I left food on my plate when I was finished eating. I knew exactly what I wanted to eat and when I wanted to eat it. At one time in my life, I had an easy relationship with food and I didn't need a trusty little notebook. Do you remember that time in your life?
Couldn't that be possible again?
I didn’t know what freedom around food looked like, but I knew that therapist offered me the wrong solution.
I’m so glad I broke up (figuratively) with him. And disregarded his ill-advised counsel.
Here’s the thing. You may not know what food freedom looks like or feels like, today. That’s okay.
What you may know, from the bottom of your belly and deep in the middle of your heart space, is that what you have now isn’t working.
>You’re thinking about food too often.
>You've got way too many negative emotions around food- guilt, worry, stress, anxiety and shame.
>You’ve been telling yourself, "I need to just be more disciplined, have more focus, and be more motivated." And "When I have the will power, then I’ll change my relationship with food." While you’re waiting for motivation, your relationship with food hovers over you like a grey and very dense cloud.
I’m here to share what IS possible. You don’t need to track, count and measure what you eat. When you practice letting your body guide you around what to eat, when to start and stop eating, you’ll feel free around food.