5 Reasons You're Always Thinking About Food

When I ask clients how often they think about food,  they answer “all the time”. 

I know how exhausting that is. Years ago, my first thought in the morning was “how can i be good (with food) today?”. I’d design my whole day around the goal of eating the right foods and avoiding the wrong ones. I put so much effort into doing everything I could to not eat too much. 

Inevitably, when I put my head on the pillow at night, I’d think, “how can tomorrow be different?”. 

I’d wake up the next morning with the same goals, the same thoughts and the same food obsessions. 

If you can relate, you likely believe that thinking about food all of the time is a sacrifice you need to make. This is the mentality we all have when we’re working toward our goals. When you wanted to do well on an exam, you knew you needed to study. When you signed up for that road race, you knew you needed to train for weeks and months before. To get certain results, you need to put the effort in. 

As you consider the time you’re spending thinking about food, are you getting the results you’ve been hoping for? 

In my experience and those of my clients, obsessing about food just left us feeling like a failure. And feeling like we’re on a gerbil wheel that we can never get off of. 

This is why I want to share with you a few reasons why you’ve been obsessing about food so you can understand what is really happening. 

1. You're not eating enough. 

One of the ways our bodies are brilliant at sharing hunger signals with us is to partner with our brains. Some early signals can be when we start to think about food, ideas like… “do i still have leftovers from last night?” “Do we have eggs in the fridge?” When you're not eating enough, your brain is going to let you know that you need more food. This is your body’s way of ensuring you’re getting enough calories to be well nourished and in balance. 

When you’re not eating enough during the day, it’s common to overeat in the afternoon and evening. This is your body’s way of catching up to get enough nourishment during the day.

2. You’re trying to avoid certain foods. 

What happens when you tell someone they can’t have something? They want it even more. This is the natural human response when our brain is triggered by scarcity. If you’ve been trying to avoid sugar or carbs, for example, you’re essentially activating the part of your brain to desire those foods and seek them out. Which in turn means you’re spending even more time thinking about that food. 

3. You're feeling guilty about what and how much you're eating. 

Guilt has a way of staying with you long after you’ve eaten the “wrong” food. You may notice thoughts like “why did I eat that?”, “I shouldn’t have done that, I know better”. Guilt is uncomfortable and takes a lot of headspace. 

You may even notice that when you feel guilty about what you’ve eaten, you then spend even more time thinking about how you can “fix” the mistake you made with your food choice. The guilt just fuels the cycle of restriction and preoccupation with food.  

4. You keep trying to find the right diet. 

Diet culture tells us there is a weight loss solution if  we work it hard enough. So, it’s not surprising that 

you believe the right diet is out there and you just haven’t found it. 

It’s like you have an antennae up, ears piqued, eyes searching for that one “thing” that could finally work for you when it comes to weight loss. You may be spending time scrolling your social feed, browsing magazines in the grocery store line, or asking those folks who share their weight loss publicly- “what did you do?”. 

5. You believe you need to lose weight. 

It’s not your fault you believe this. Diet culture glorifies thin bodies and tells us that only thin bodies are attractive. 

When you’re judging your body, you find a lot of ways to criticize it. If your clothes aren’t fitting, this discomfort may take your attention like a pebble in your shoe would. You may be comparing your body to other people’s bodies. You may be so fearful of other people judging your body that you put a lot of time and energy trying to hide your body. 

These are a few reasons food is always on your mind. Now that you know, you have options. Dieting and food restriction will not lead you to feeling peaceful. It’s not worth the sacrifice of your precious headspace. 

Why Community, Unlearning and Mindfulness Are So Important on Your Intuitive Eating Journey

Note: I want to share why I’m offering my upcoming small Food Freedom Group Coaching program. This program will begin in the middle of April. You can find out more information here. 

I was always a secret dieter. My mind was always filled with ideas of how to lose weight, but I rarely shared those plans with friends or family. So when I overate, ate the wrong foods, or binged, I just assumed that I was the only one failing so miserably. 

Believing it was “just me” that couldn’t lose weight and keep it off was pretty crazy-making. I’d often reflect on what it was about me that was so wrong. Was it genetics? Was I not disciplined enough? Was it my childhood? Was I an addict? 

On one hand, assuming I was wrongly unique made me feel like nothing could fix me and my eating issues. On the other hand, I couldn't stop trying to find a solution. I didn't want to believe that I had to live with my eating struggles for the rest of my life. 

Juicing hadn’t worked, even though Kris Carr promised it would. Smoothie fasts didn’t work, even though wellness warriors told me I’d feel cleansed, clear, and energized. 

When I found Intuitive Eating, I didn’t share that with anyone either. Quite honestly, I didn’t realize the incredible gift I had stumbled upon at the time. But, since I was trying anything and everything to stop feeling so out of control around food, Intuitive Eating was the next obvious choice. 

I can only best describe my early intuitive eating journey as having one foot in and one foot out. Although I’ve never shared this with anyone, I even picked up a Keto diet book and started to follow the high protein low carb lifestyle while I was practicing intuitive eating. Just a few weeks ago, I stumbled upon a home blood sugar monitor in my bathroom closet that I bought at the time to determine if I was In ketosis or not! That was a fun item to toss in the trash can. 

I know now that if I had hired someone that knew about intuitive eating to help me along, my journey to food freedom would likely have been smoother and quicker. But, I also know that if I had, I may not have picked up all of the other tools and insights like transformational principles, yoga, energy healing, and mindfulness that I needed to help me along the way. My process was perfect because it led me to where I am now. 

Which is why I can reflect back on my own journey and see what someone like you, who may be in the early stages of your food freedom journey, needs and could benefit from so you can move along your process with more grace and ease. 

One of the most important things I believe folks need is a sense of community. We're steeped in diet culture, where dieting, restricted eating, wellness = weight loss, and intermittent fasting is normalized. Intuitive eating is a non-diet approach that allows you to tune into the sensations of your body to eat to the lovely feeling of satisfaction. While you’re practicing intuitive eating, you’ll likely hear co-workers talk about their latest diet, you’ll see calories on menus when you go out to eat, and you’ll see weight loss before and after ads in your Instagram feed. It’s so important that you surround yourself with people that are on the same journey you're on. You’ll find strength and solace in a safe group setting. 

The other thing I think people need is space to practice and experiment in real-time. We live in a world with access to SO much information. If you have a question, you can find the answer within seconds on your phone. But, does information really move you to action? I often hear, "I know what to do, but I just can’t do it". You’re saturated with way too much information on food, nutrition, how to lose weight, and exercise. You need to unlearn what’s not helpful and take the time to practice. 

And lastly, when it comes to food and your body, you need more space. When I was struggling with food, I was moving a million miles an hour. I wasn’t paying attention to my body, how I was feeling and what I was eating. Most of what I was doing felt like I was checking a box on my to-do list. This is really common among my clients too. We all have busy lives. Yet, most folks aren’t prioritizing how they care for their bodies. All of their other responsibilities like family and work come before their own basic needs. 

In my upcoming Food Freedom Group Coaching program, I’m designing each of the 90-minute calls to include these three necessities; connecting with other people through sharing and supporting, real-time experiential practices, and mindfulness and grounding exercises. 

If this program is coming to you at the right time on your food freedom journey, I’d love for you to join me. I’m accepting a maximum of 8 people. We start on Tuesday, April 12th. The cost is $250 a month for three months. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at tara@tara-whitney.com. 

Second Guessing Food Choices is Fuckin' Exhausting

You're out to dinner.

Before you even pick up the menu, you think- what's the healthiest thing I can order?

You look at the salad section. Healthy choices there! Cobb salad or Chicken Casaer? Ugg. Is cheese okay? Is bacon okay? How about croutons?

Actually. You don't even want a salad. You had a salad for lunch. Plus, it's freakin' cold out. The last thing you want to eat is something cold.

You ask your friends. What are they ordering? You don't want to be the only one at the table that doesn't order a salad.

You start to look at the sandwiches. This restaurant has the BEST sweet potato fries. But, what's up with all of those calories? Does a grilled chicken sandwich really have that many calories? Uggh.

You look around the restaurant to see what other people have ordered.

Steak? No. Salmon? Oh. That could work. But they are serving it with potatoes. Too many carbs.

How about a soup? Shoot. They only have French Onion. Ugg. Sounds good but way too heavy. Not healthy.

While the rest of your friends are chatting and catching up on life, you're going through the mental gymnastics of ordering your dinner. You're missing out. And it's straight out exhausting.

What's going on?

Two things.

1. You're trying to follow food rules to be good.

2. You are missing the internal cues that offer you guidance on what would taste good, feel great in your body and what you'd enjoy eating.

When following external (diet or health) rules, all of your decisions making is outside of you. That's why you second guess yourself. You're not confident. This is really exhausting.

You left the restaurant overfilled but still feeling empty.

When you tune in to the information that comes from the inside (hunger, fullness, satisfaction, preference), you can make food choices with ease.

You'll be free to enjoy dinner out with friends.

What Do I Eat When I Start Intuitive Eating?

This is the question most ask when starting any new eating plan or health protocol.

If you're wondering, it's like you're asking for the playbook so you can know the rules. 

I get that. We all want to know how to be successful.Yet, intuitive eating is different. 

The short answer is that with intuitive eating, no food is off limits. 

Now, you may have heard that before on other diets. 

Intuitive eating doesn’t have cheat days. The focus isn’t on trying to moderate yourself. 

Intuitive eating is a non-diet approach where you change how you value certain foods.

With intuitive eating, all foods are considered neutral and emotionally equivalent. 

Which means you enjoy foods without guilt or shame. 

Intuitive eating isn't a “free for all”. Eating all forbidden foods can feel like a "free for all" when you're not dieting, but still trying to be good.

Discovering what to eat will be a journey...

from needing rules and a guidebook where someone tells you what to eat, 

to being curious around what foods you enjoy and feels good in your body, 

to knowing what foods you'd prefer to eat and make you feel satisfied because you're honoring the internal wisdom of your body. 

Starting this journey may feel scary. You may be afraid of eating the wrong thing or eating way too much of it. Guidelines can make us feel safe! 

Offer yourself some kindness. You’re taking a step away from rules and restrictions and stepping toward food freedom by creating your own internal guidelines. Ones that you can trust. Meanwhile, it takes time to unlearn diet rules and reconnect with your body’s wisdom. 

One fun way to start is to ask yourself a new set of questions- 

If all foods are neutral, 

• What would taste best right now? 

• What would feel nourishing? 

• What food would I enjoy eating? 

Then, experiment and be curious. What do you notice? 

Just for Today, Are You Open to Letting Your Struggles With Food and Weight Go?

I know it's a lot. And you've been carrying it around for so long.

It may feel impossible for you to imagine what it feels like and looks like to not be struggling with food, your body, your health. 

What if the meaning behind the struggle is the struggle? 

Could the narrative you have in your mind about who you are when you overeat, eat emotionally, and worry about your weight is what's wearing on you? 

Notice what you say to yourself when you overeat. Are you bad? Disgusting? Out of control? Crazy?

What if you let those ideas loosen their grip on you? 

Imagine you're holding these ideas of yourself in your fist. 

Feel the weight, the pressure. 

Now open your palm and let the energy of these ideas be. 

Do they want to stay in your palm? Are they willing to drop? To float? 

When you're not holding onto these words, ideas and meaning so tightly, how does your body feel? 

How To Let Go of Perfectionism With Food

There was a time in my life when every morning, my first thought was, “I want to have a perfect day with food.” It was part mantra, part prayer.

I was trying to use sheer will to eat the right foods and avoid the wrong ones. I hoped that if I asked God, the universe, or anyone or anything that was listening to my wish, they would help me.

Are you trying to have a perfect day with food?

You don’t need to be on an official diet to be trying to eat perfectly. If you’re trying to lose weight and get healthy, you have a pretty good idea of what foods you should be eating and which ones you shouldn’t.

It’s common to adopt an internal diet voice, which is that little voice that is constantly monitoring what you’re eating and telling you that you’re being good or you’re being bad.

When you’re trying to be perfect, it means that you’re trying to be 100% compliant when following food rules and never break a single one of them.

Yet, let’s look at what happens when you’re trying to be perfect.

The day starts perfectly.

It always does. And then, as the day goes on, life happens. You get an unexpected call from the kid’s school. You have one of those uncomfortable conversations with a family member. You receive an unexpected bill and worry about money.

Or, you drive by your favorite bakery. You go to a networking event that’s serving cookies or muffins and you think, just one won’t hurt.

Life happens. Everyday life with stressors, discomfort, surprises, ups, and downs. And, food, which is just a part of life, happens to be around and available.

The moment you take one bite, your perfect day just disappears. In the blink of an eye, or one small bite.

One bite makes the day wrong.

You’ve already blown it. Like a switch that got flipped, you can’t have a perfect day with food. Who cares? You mine as well eat what you want. So you’ll eat the bad and forbidden foods that you’re not allowing yourself to eat on a perfect day.

After all, tomorrow will be different. Tomorrow, you’ll start again.

But there is something else. You don’t get to just eat what you want without paying a price. You’ll go off the rails, but you won’t do it without feeling guilty and ashamed about what you’re eating.

When you’re not doing it perfectly, you’re feeling bad about yourself.

The embarrassment and shame of eating so badly feels so dark and uncomfortable. You wish you could hide and maybe even disappear. But you can’t.

You may even wonder if something is wrong with you. “Why do I eat like this?” “Why can’t I stop myself from this madness?”

You can only try to hide the disappointment in yourself. And the best way to do that is with redemption.

The only way to feel better is to promise yourself that tomorrow will be different.

A contract is made. You know you can’t do anything about how you ate today, but you can eat perfectly tomorrow. You’ll pay the price, you know you will. The promise of tomorrow is like a glimmer of light that pulls you through.

It even gives you a little lift of optimism. When the sun rises, you’ll get a fresh start. You go to bed with a clear plan on how to be perfect with food and a glimmer of hope in your heart.

The next day starts perfectly. Because it always does.

And the pattern repeats like Groundhog Day.

The destructive cycle of trying to be perfect with food only gives you shame and self-doubt. And, the ironic part is that you’re likely overeating foods that don’t feel great in your body.

Trying to be perfect around food is a lose-lose. You’re working so hard to attain the unattainable.

There is no such thing as perfect eating when you’re trying to eat to someone else’s perfect standards. It’s impossible.

And, because human bodies won’t tolerate food restriction (mentally or physically), it will retaliate and override your desires for perfection. Overeating and binge eating is inevitable.

But more importantly, feeling so much shame and embarrassment is not healthy. You deserve to feel good in your body and have confidence in your food choices.

Perfectionism is getting in the way of true health and vitality.

Start to notice how the destructive cycle of your attempts at perfect eating is impacting your mental and emotional health. Your well-being isn’t worth sacrificing.

Create a new, kinder standard for yourself around food. Nourishing yourself in alignment with your values around your health and how you want to live your life.

When you start to feel that shame and embarrassment, instead of reacting by restricting more, ease up. Be compassionate as you practice forgiveness.

Gently start to give yourself permission to replace perfectionism (and the need to follow external rules) with listening to your body and your inner guidance.

It’s okay to let go of needing to be perfect around food.

It may be scary as you start to let go of perfectionism around food. You may be believing that rigidity is required to keep you in control. I get that.

As you explore this pattern for yourself, and start listening to the signals your body is sharing with you, you’ll discover that you can trust yourself around food. That’s a pattern worth repeating over and over again.