Except for this one thing that made a huge difference for me
I had a sugar hangover on most Monday mornings. Still filled from eating too much the night before. Still empty and hungry for something I couldn’t name.
My mind would be busy trying to figure out how to stop myself from overeating and losing control around food ever again. I’d tell myself, “If I could just fix this, everything else in my life would be better.”
Yet, a week would pass. A month. And many more. Despite all of my efforts and prayers, I couldn’t stop myself from doing what I kept doing week after week. And I tried everything. More diets. Calorie tracking. Nutritionists. Therapists. Mantras. Journaling.
There came a point when I knew that I had to try something new. I felt somewhat insane doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Here is what I did.
What’s happening now.
Chances are, you’re frustrated when you eat too much because you’re afraid of weight gain. You want to change your body and get healthier. Yet, overeating is painful because it’s getting in your way.
Overeating becomes an obstacle on your path, preventing you from getting to where you want to go.
The obstacle gets bigger and bigger because we create a lot of stories around overeating and what it means to have this problem. The first time you overate, it may have been a pebble. Now, after months or years of this pattern, it’s turned into a massive boulder.
A problem becomes a problem when we make it mean something.
Eating 10 Oreos has become a big deal. It’s personal. It means something about you, your value, and your character.
Consider an “I do this… because I’m…..” statement. For example, “I can’t stop overeating because I’m broken, and there is something wrong with me.” This may be a typical conversation you have in your mind.
Overeating is no longer about having a filled belly; it means something more. It can mean you’re broken, wrong, damaged, and have no willpower.
Overeating becomes a personal attack.
Explore how you’re making overeating a problem in your mind. Consider questions like these:
When you just ate that second bowl of ice cream, what did you say to yourself about yourself?
What does it mean about yourself that you ate more than what your body needs?
What does overeating say about you, your character, your health, and your body?
Stepping around the obstacle.
Overeating isn’t the problem. The problem is how you’re thinking about overeating. Feeling broken is the real problem.
This is why you may feel stuck. Your focus and attention have stayed on the same internal conversation.
You’ve been pouring your energy into trying to fix the problem the same way over and over.
Without the narrative around what it means to overeat, you can look at your patterns with food with fresh eyes. Overeating will no longer be an obstacle that’s in your way.
Examining why you feel damaged and believing weight loss will fix that is the real work. But let’s put that aside for now.
A new approach.
When I stopped focusing on stopping myself from overeating and started focusing on tuning into my body, my binging quietly and unceremoniously slowed down and eventually stopped.
Give yourself permission to let go of the stories and beliefs that have made overeating significant to you.
When these patterns are no longer personal, you’ll change your focus and attention to make the changes you desire in your relationship with food.