What if You Didn’t Need To Work Out To “Earn” That Bagel or Slice of Pizza?

You know those running freaks that jog in place waiting for the light to change so they can cross the street? 

That was me.

There were more calories to burn and I wasn’t going to miss an opportunity.  

How about those runners that are up before dawn with their headlamp and reflector vest? 

That was me, too. 

I did whatever I could to squeeze a workout in. Because I couldn’t possibly go a day without a run, yoga class, or intense workout. 

It’s a fine line. At the time, I considered myself a fitness enthusiast, health-conscious, sweat-loving jock. 

But when I look back now, I know I was just scared of weight gain, fearful to go without a workout, and believed I needed to earn my next meal (or fix what I just overate). 

And the line gets even more fine and delicate when we consider this truth: 

Exercise always makes us feel better. 

After a workout, I’d feel more calm and peaceful. I’d feel accomplished and productive. And, if the workout was really intense, I’d feel pleasantly sedated. Afterward, no one or no thing could push me off my center. 

Yet, there was always something nagging at me. Mostly on the days I was freakin’ exhausted (and I’m suspecting my body was begging for rest). 

Why did I need to work my body so hard? 

Why did I need to put so much time and energy into burning calories? 

On those days, exercise wasn’t fun. It was punishment. 

If you’re where I’ve been, I’m inviting you to a different approach. 

When exercise is about fixing your body, the line needs to be explored. Because it’s what turns something healthy, beneficial, and life-altering, into something that’s fear-confirming and harmful.

As I changed my relationship with food, my relationship with my body and exercise changed too. Workouts aren’t about earning or fixing. 

They’re about moving for the experience of feeling great- whether calming or energizing. It’s not just about how I feel after, it was about how I feel during the movement that matters. 

At the heart of a harmful relationship with exercise is the belief that your body is wrong or bad. Or you may hold the belief that you need exercise to hold onto the slim and fit body you do have. 

What if you partnered with your body when you choose to move? What if you let your body give you feedback around what movement it needs to feel better?

What if you let yourself move, just because it’s fun and inviting? 

I know these are big asks. But if you are as tired and exhausted as I was, it’s likely that your body is begging for a change. Now may be a great time to listen. 

Just for Today, Are You Open to Letting Your Struggles With Food and Weight Go?

I know it's a lot. And you've been carrying it around for so long.

It may feel impossible for you to imagine what it feels like and looks like to not be struggling with food, your body, your health. 

What if the meaning behind the struggle is the struggle? 

Could the narrative you have in your mind about who you are when you overeat, eat emotionally, and worry about your weight is what's wearing on you? 

Notice what you say to yourself when you overeat. Are you bad? Disgusting? Out of control? Crazy?

What if you let those ideas loosen their grip on you? 

Imagine you're holding these ideas of yourself in your fist. 

Feel the weight, the pressure. 

Now open your palm and let the energy of these ideas be. 

Do they want to stay in your palm? Are they willing to drop? To float? 

When you're not holding onto these words, ideas and meaning so tightly, how does your body feel? 

You’ve Tried Everything To Stop Overeating

Except for this one thing that made a huge difference for me

I had a sugar hangover on most Monday mornings. Still filled from eating too much the night before. Still empty and hungry for something I couldn’t name.

My mind would be busy trying to figure out how to stop myself from overeating and losing control around food ever again. I’d tell myself, “If I could just fix this, everything else in my life would be better.”

Yet, a week would pass. A month. And many more. Despite all of my efforts and prayers, I couldn’t stop myself from doing what I kept doing week after week. And I tried everything. More diets. Calorie tracking. Nutritionists. Therapists. Mantras. Journaling.

There came a point when I knew that I had to try something new. I felt somewhat insane doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Here is what I did.

What’s happening now.

Chances are, you’re frustrated when you eat too much because you’re afraid of weight gain. You want to change your body and get healthier. Yet, overeating is painful because it’s getting in your way.

Overeating becomes an obstacle on your path, preventing you from getting to where you want to go.

The obstacle gets bigger and bigger because we create a lot of stories around overeating and what it means to have this problem. The first time you overate, it may have been a pebble. Now, after months or years of this pattern, it’s turned into a massive boulder.

A problem becomes a problem when we make it mean something.

Eating 10 Oreos has become a big deal. It’s personal. It means something about you, your value, and your character.

Consider an “I do this… because I’m…..” statement. For example, “I can’t stop overeating because I’m broken, and there is something wrong with me.” This may be a typical conversation you have in your mind.

Overeating is no longer about having a filled belly; it means something more. It can mean you’re broken, wrong, damaged, and have no willpower.

Overeating becomes a personal attack.

Explore how you’re making overeating a problem in your mind. Consider questions like these:

When you just ate that second bowl of ice cream, what did you say to yourself about yourself?

What does it mean about yourself that you ate more than what your body needs?

What does overeating say about you, your character, your health, and your body?

Stepping around the obstacle.

Overeating isn’t the problem. The problem is how you’re thinking about overeating. Feeling broken is the real problem.

This is why you may feel stuck. Your focus and attention have stayed on the same internal conversation.

You’ve been pouring your energy into trying to fix the problem the same way over and over.

Without the narrative around what it means to overeat, you can look at your patterns with food with fresh eyes. Overeating will no longer be an obstacle that’s in your way.

Examining why you feel damaged and believing weight loss will fix that is the real work. But let’s put that aside for now.

A new approach.

When I stopped focusing on stopping myself from overeating and started focusing on tuning into my body, my binging quietly and unceremoniously slowed down and eventually stopped.

Give yourself permission to let go of the stories and beliefs that have made overeating significant to you.

When these patterns are no longer personal, you’ll change your focus and attention to make the changes you desire in your relationship with food.