Years ago, my son Ryan's little league baseball team won his league's world series. This was a surprise because his team lost as many games as they won during the regular season. But during the playoffs, the team came together, each of them playing their best.
After the championship game, while parents and players were screaming and cheering, I noticed his coach was barely celebrating at all. I was expecting him to be thrilled and beaming with pride, especially considering the odds he helped his team overcome. I heard him mumble something about next season in the post-game team huddle.
Sadly, not owning and celebrating achievements is pretty common, especially among high-achieving women. It can feel uncomfortable to draw attention to themselves. There is an assumption that hard work should be noticed on its own, and bragging about it could diminish its quality and integrity.
Achievements like earning a promotion or landing a speaking gig can often be minimized by assuming they come from luck or personal connections. When folks don’t take credit for these wins, they don’t acknowledge their own hard work and brilliance.
It’s very common for women to automatically want to move on to the next thing. They close down a successful project and instead of taking the time to celebrate and own their success, they get energized and ready for the next project.
Ready to own your achievements?
Take the time to pause and sit in the initial discomfort of owning your success. Yes, you’ve been taught and trained to be humble and modest. But that conditioning isn’t helping you to achieve the success you’re yearning for.
Acknowledging yourself and your contributions is a critical habit, especially if you’re feeling like you’re on a gerbil wheel, exhausted and overworked. By owning your achievements, you’re training your brain to collect evidence around the impact you’re having.
I start each client coaching call by asking my client, what can we celebrate? If you have someone to confide in, let them know what you’re practicing and ask them to team up with you. If you don’t, journaling works too. Prompt yourself with “I’m proud of myself that I …..”, “I acknowledge myself for ….”, and “I’m celebrating myself for …. .”
This builds your self-awareness around your strengths and talents. When you start to notice not only what you accomplished but what it took for you to get there, you’re moving in the direction you want to go.
As this becomes a habit, you’ll see opportunities to bring your accomplishments to the partners and senior leaders in your firm. This will raise your visibility and put you in the running for new opportunities.
You can also model this practice with your team and co-workers so they can learn how to claim their achievements too.
But most importantly, owning your achievements is a powerful practice of honoring yourself.