Earning vs. Deserving

the mindset shift that will heal your relationship with food and your body

My high school softball coach had a sign in her office; “The harder you work, the luckier you get.” These words became my mantra. And then I made them true.  In all areas of my life but one. When I worked hard, I was rewarded. I worked hard and got lucky on the field, at school and in the office. 

I tried for decades to apply this “work hard and good luck will come” mentality to my body and weight loss.  And diet culture agreed and cheered me on.  I believed I just needed more discipline to stay away from forbidden foods, better time management skills to prep meals for the week, and energy to exercise and work out to burn calories. 

Yet, it never worked for me. And it probably isn’t working for you either. Here’s why: 

Diet culture markets their products by telling us that a thinner body will make them feel confident and happy. We see pictures of people that have tried and “been successful” using their product in a slim body, nice clothes with an attractive friend or partner.  

We’ve been sold and told that the only way to be happy is to earn it by achieving a thin body. 

It’s okay to earn our accomplishments. But we don’t need to earn happiness, confidence and peace. 

Yet, what breaks my heart is the underlying belief I hear in my clients stories over and over again. They feel like they need to earn fundament things like: 

Rest

Nourishment

Peace

Ease

Relaxation

Contentment

Because we live in a culture that tells us that if our body isn’t acceptable, we need to:

  1. Work hard to achieve one that is with sacrifice and hard work. 

  2. Forgo basic needs until it is acceptable. 

When we need to earn our happiness because of our body size, we are just sacrificing the quality of our lives. Again and again. 

The only person that can give you what you desire is you. We don’t need to earn a happy life. 

What are you waiting for? When you retire? When you’ve finally lost those 10 lbs that you’ve been trying to lose for the past 15 years? When you have a perfect food day? When you’ve burned enough calories? 

The earning mentality has been instilled in us and we need to shift it to knowing we deserve care and respect. We deserve love. Simply because we exist. 

You deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin no matter what. You deserve rest. You deserve to feel satiated. You deserve to enjoy the food you eat. You deserve to feel safe.