Somewhere along the way, you learned something is wrong with your body.
The teaching may have come in the form of a sly comment from a friend at summer camp when she pointed to another girl and said “that girl should NOT be wearing that bathing suit”.
The teaching may have come in what you observed. Your mother eating special meals at dinner, not eating cake or ice cream and counting calories.
The teaching may have been so subtle, that you couldn’t point your finger to one thing because the messages are everywhere. Instagram. TV shows. Magazines. Instead of seeing a variety of body types, you saw just one type. Thin, lean and long. White, cis-gender, non-disabled.
We all know what to do when something is broken. We fix it. We take our car into the shop, call the plumber, or drop off our blouse at the seamstress. Problems need our attention.
Which is why you may be spending a good deal of time trying to fix your body.
Diet Culture, the system of beliefs that idolizes thin bodies, has given us many “tools” to use. It’s called eating “well”, dieting, losing weight, and exercising to change the shape of our bodies.
Have you noticed how much time you spend planning and working at food restriction and weight loss?
How many books and blogs are you reading that tell you what to eat, how to cook and how to work out to lose weight?
How much money have you invested in working with experts, joining membership programs and buying special weight loss supplements?
You’re investing in fixing your body because when you learned something was wrong with your body, you also learned that a thin body would bring you happiness, joy, and success.
You learned that investing in a thin body pays off.
Choose kale smoothies and you may feel deserving of your recent promotion.
When the number on the scale goes down, you will be ready to date again.
After burning 600 calories in a power yoga class, you’ll feel confident and light.
This is because of the Broken Promise of the Thin and Perfect. We’ve unknowingly agreed to an unspoken contract. Our culture promises us our dreams will come true if we can only be thin and perfect.
So we work, and try, and invest, and never, ever, ever give up on trying to achieve an acceptable body.
We do this with a smile on our face and all of the energy of the Energizer Bunny. We don’t stop or admit defeat. We just keep going. More time at the gym. More salads. More tracking and counting.
Because if we stop trying, we are essentially giving up on our dreams. That’s what the Broken Promise of the Thin and Perfect does. It keeps us engaged but never fulfills its end of the contract.
There is a significant cost when you keep trying to fix your body. Believing in the Broken Promise of the Thin and Perfect will ever change and deliver you happiness has a price. Here are just a few:
Dieting and restricting so you can lose weight is an incredible distraction from other more valuable and important things in your life, like your career, relationships and passions.
Every time you continue to fix, you’re confirming the incorrect belief that you’re broken.
Trying to fix your body is exhausting and frustrating.
You may feel like you have two modes of operating; fixing or failing (restricting or saying “fuck-it”). There is no win-win when you are trying to fix your body.
What is the solution?
Not fixing. Recognizing that there is no problem to solve. Recognizing the Broken Promise of the Thin and Perfect is just as described, a BROKEN promise.
You weren’t born with the belief that your body is broken. Nor did you create the thought on your own.
It’s time to stop fixing and time to start acknowledging your own grace.
Consider, how would you treat your body if you didn’t believe something was wrong with it?
When you know your body is brilliant and worthy of your love and acceptance , won’t you relax and treat yourself with great care and respect?