Back in the late 90's, I was the controller for a consulting firm that had all company meetings on Friday mornings. Once a month, I had to stand in front of 50 or so employees and share with them some key financial and operating metrics.
Days before, I'd get a pit in the bottom of my belly. I would prepare by memorizing exactly what I would say. That never helped. I felt like a robot, stiff and rigid, and had little awareness of what I said and how I sounded.
The fear of being in front of a group of people, mostly men, where I was suppose to the expert and authority, left me paralyzed. My mouth would get dry and I'd get sweaty.
I now know exactly what was happening to me during those all company meetings. My nervous system went into high gear and I froze. When we are in a fearful state, this is what our body does. It wants to flee, fight or freeze. Running out of the room or getting into an argument wasn't a viable option. I could only freeze.
When we freeze, we leave our bodies. Our bodies are very hard to connect with when our heart if beating a million miles an hour, we feel a pressure in the center of our chest and our palms are sweaty.
The most painful part of those presentations was that I wasn't myself. I couldn't show the rest of the company my true self, all I knew (or didn't know) and ultimately, what I thought. I could only show them a small well-rehearsed sliver. I was the opposite of fully expressed. I was shut down.
This is what fear, in particular, fear of being judged by others, does to us. It shuts us down, paralyzes us and puts us in a robotic and well-rehearsed state. And, if you are walking around in a body that doesn't feel good enough, thin enough or healthy enough, there is a good chance you are walking around in this fear of judgment all of the time. You don't need to stand in front of a crowd to experience it.
You may be wondering, how do I move past this fear?
Well, you're going to LOVE this conversation with Megan Jo Wilson on the Hungry:Trust Your Body. Free Your Mind podcast!
Megan Jo knows how to move women past their fears, guide them to show up in their businesses (in a way that feels safe to them), and invites them into a place of expansion that they never knew was possible. She knows that standing in front of a crowd is scary AF, which is why she develops women leaders by having them sing on stage. Incredible, right?
Megan Jo and I talked Black Lives Matter, body acceptance and freedom. I can't wait for you to hear it!
If you are an spirit-led woman, coach and light worker that's looking for support growing your business in a way that doesn't feel pushy and like you're just forcing yourself to follow "old" ways, check out Megan Jo's Rock Star Rising Group Coaching Program. It starts August 4th!
One more thing.
I just scheduled this really powerful experience that I'm leading on August 20th- Hungry for Freedom: 4 Ingredients for a Loving and Nourishing Relationship with Food! The cost is $25. I'd love for you to join me.