What If You Stopped Trying to Lose Weight?

This post isn't for everyone. But if you're tired, exhausted and frustrated with battling with your body around food, then read on. 

You may be thinking… 

What? No. I couldn't possibly do that. 

If you’ve been trying to lose weight for as long as you can remember, I realize asking you to stop doing something that you’ve been doing for most of your life may feel uncomfortable. 

It may feel foreign. As if you lived in northern Maine your whole life and then you moved to Miami. 

You may object to not TRYING to lose weight because you don’t feel good at your current weight. 

Of course you want to feel good. Let’s consider what’s going on around us. 

If you’ve ever been at a lower weight, people paid attention to you. They encouraged you and your lower weight. It feels good when people approve of us. (btw- take this even deeper; when loved ones approve of us, we feel safe and a sense of belonging.) 

Not only that, we receive messages from our culture that thin bodies are more attractive. Our medical community and wellness culture tells us that thin bodies are healthier. 

You may even believe that you’ll feel more successful in your life if your body was thinner. 

We live in a world with weight bias. This means that the world rewards thin bodies and harms fat bodies. This bias is everywhere. In our homes, schools, work, doctor's offices, and social media feeds. 

Fat people aren't treated well. Of course you wouldn't want to live in a world where you aren't treated well. 

BUT (you knew this was coming, right?). Has TRYING to lose weight helped you to lose weight? 

Or, has trying to lose weight made you feel like a failure? Has it made you obsess about food? Has it eroded your confidence and peace of mind? Has it cost you a lot of time, energy and money with NO results? 

Here is the truth: 

We’ve been told our body is the problem. In fact, our body is the solution. 

Trying to lose weight has disconnected you from your body. You’ve separated yourself from it. That’s why trying to lose weight feels so exhausting and frustrating. You’ve been living at a distance from the one thing that will offer you the success, joy and peace you’ve been seeking. 

It may feel like too much for you to stop trying to lose weight right now. So, here is my invitation to you: 

Put weight loss on hold. Just for today. Or just for this week. Just for this month. 

When you consider that idea, how does your body react? Does it relax? Do you feel a sense of ease and relief? That's a yes. 

12 Practices to Feel Satisfied and Peaceful Around Food This Thanksgiving

Eating to satisfaction is the cornerstone of Intuitive Eating. 

When you feel satisfied, you eat an amount that feels right for you at that moment. You also feel content, nourished, and even spacious because you’re eating foods that you like and that taste good to you. 

Only you will know what satisfaction feels like in your body. 

Thanksgiving is an awesome opportunity to practice eating to satisfaction. And, for obvious reasons, may be even more challenging. 

Here are a few things to practice.

You can: 

1. Eat foods that would have been off-limits in the past. Remind yourself that you can also enjoy these foods tomorrow. And the next day. And the day after that.  

2. Enjoy these foods without guilt or shame. 

3. Wear comfortable clothing. 

4. Let go of standard portion sizes. 

5. Fill your dinner plate with foods that you're curious to try, will enjoy, and will make your body feel great. 

6. Be aware of your environment and notice people, memories, expectations, overwhelm, and responsibilities that may move you off your center. How can you be gentle with yourself? 

7. Not finish everything on your plate. Wrap it up and save it for later or throw the food away. 

8. Invite yourself to challenge any "shoulds" and explore if they still feel right to you. “I should make my grandmother's apple pie.” “Everything should be perfect.” “We should eat dinner at a certain time of the day.”  

9. Notice a part of you that may want or need to burn extra calories in advance of Thanksgiving dinner. Can you replace that with moving in a way that's inviting and fun for you?

10. Pause every once in a while throughout the day and take some deep breaths. Notice what you're experiencing in your body. Check in with your hunger and fullness signals. 

11. Rest often. Take a 10-15 minute, or hour-long nap. Take a break. Give yourself some downtime. 

12. Eat pie for breakfast (thank you for this suggestion Evelyn Tribole!). 

And if you're brand new to Intuitive Eating, let yourself stumble and fumble. It takes practice and time to unlearn outdated patterns of food restriction and restore connection with yourself and your body. You get to do this imperfectly! 

Have a peaceful and lovely Thanksgiving! 

It’s common to want to FIX your struggles with food and your weight. Common. But not helpful.

When you’re trying to fix, 

• You may be thinking…. I need to STOP overeating, STOP eating emotionally, STOP eating the wrong foods. 

• You may feel really urgent (maybe even panicked) to find a solution (program, coach, or book) that will take away the struggle. 

• You likely beat yourself up and feel bad when you overeat or emotionally eat. It’s generally right after these situations that you want “to fix” most. 

The most common forms of fixing are food restriction, rigorous dieting and more frequent or longer exercise.  

If you’re trying to fix your relationship with food and bodies, you’ve likely forgotten: 

• Your body is universally perfect because it’s here on earth. You came into this world divinely and nothing has changed. It’s only our culture and the biases we’ve absorbed that have led us to believe that something is wrong. 

• Disordered patterns with food are coping mechanisms. You’ve put them in place to keep yourself safe and protected. 

• By trying to fix unwanted behavior, you may spend more time and energy on the behavior instead of inviting in healing the part of you that created the unwanted behavior in the first place. 

When we try to fix, we see ourselves as wrong or broken. 

And this is simply not true. 

And, you’re not wrong for wanting to fix something painful! Of course, you want your life to be better. 

My invitation to you is to notice when you want to fix. When you catch yourself, gently remind yourself that the way to heal is through connecting with your inner state and practicing self-compassion.