You know those running freaks that jog in place waiting for the light to change so they can cross the street?

That was me.

There were more calories to burn and I wasn’t going to miss an opportunity.

How about those runners that are up before dawn with their headlamp and reflector vest?

That was me, too.

I did whatever I could to squeeze a workout in. Because I couldn’t possibly go a day without a run, yoga class, or intense workout.

It’s a fine line. At the time, I considered myself a fitness enthusiast, health-conscious, sweat-loving jock.

But when I look back now, I know I was just scared of weight gain, fearful to go without a workout, and believed I needed to earn my next meal (or fix what I just overate).

And the line gets even more fine and delicate when we consider this truth:

Exercise always makes us feel better.

After a workout, I’d feel more calm and peaceful. I’d feel accomplished and productive. And, if the workout was really intense, I’d feel pleasantly sedated. Afterward, no one or no thing could push me off my center.

Yet, there was always something nagging at me. Mostly on the days I was freakin’ exhausted (and I’m suspecting my body was begging for rest).

Why did I need to work my body so hard?

Why did I need to put so much time and energy into burning calories?

On those days, exercise wasn’t fun. It was punishment.

If you’re where I’ve been, I’m inviting you to a different approach.

When exercise is about fixing your body, the line needs to be explored. Because it’s what turns something healthy, beneficial, and life-altering, into something that’s fear-confirming and harmful.

As I changed my relationship with food, my relationship with my body and exercise changed too. Workouts aren’t about earning or fixing.

They’re about moving for the experience of feeling great- whether calming or energizing. It’s not just about how I feel after, it was about how I feel during the movement that matters.

At the heart of a harmful relationship with exercise is the belief that your body is wrong or bad. Or you may hold the belief that you need exercise to hold onto the slim and fit body you do have.

What if you partnered with your body when you choose to move? What if you let your body give you feedback around what movement it needs to feel better?

What if you let yourself move, just because it’s fun and inviting?

I know these are big asks. But if you are as tired and exhausted as I was, it’s likely that your body is begging for a change. Now may be a great time to listen.