Most folks I connect with have a full plate. Some have a “day” job and a few jobs they work in the evenings and weekends. On one hand, they’re filled with passion and enthusiasm because they’re engaged in so much meaningful work. On the other, they share how little control they have over their schedule and feel like their time isn’t their own.

Here is how you know this is you:

Does the idea of taking a weekend off from work, giving yourself a real lunch break, or not catching up on emails after dinner feel impossible?
Do you feel like you’re just trying to survive each week?

Being so overloaded can feel like a trap. You’re good at managing everything on your plate. You know what it takes to be efficient, multi-task, and get the job done.

But, how about those times when you say to yourself “I can’t take it anymore.”? When you want to quit and shed all of those obligations and responsibilities, but you know you can’t.

You may be starting to recognize that sacrificing your sanity isn’t worth it. When you’re overwhelmed with too many responsibilities; you may have a hard time winding down and relaxing, you have a hard time sleeping, you have little time to get outside and take a break, you feel anxious and get agitated easily, and you have little patience for the minor inconveniences that life inevitably throws at you.

Yet, the truth is that while you’ve been saying yes to others, you’ve been saying no to yourself. When you tell your boss that you can get a deliverable to her by the end of the week or when you agreed to take on that non-profit work, you’ve given away the precious time you need for yourself (like getting more sleep, going for a walk or run, or working on an important personal project).

Start by getting clear about how you want to spend your time. What do you value? What do you want to do to invest in your health and sanity? Who do you want to make time for? When you know what your non-negotiables are around your time, it’s easier to say “no” or “not now” when other demands are being placed on you.

This will help you get control over your calendar. And instead of feeling like each week is a brutal running race you can barely survive, you’ll feel a sense of balance in how you’re spending your time because you’re putting yourself and what you value first.