An essential practice when you want to overcome emotional eating
Emotions are like gas. They pass.
I heard this from a yoga teacher forever ago.
It’s so consoling, isn’t it? Knowing that we can feel the swell of anger, sadness, fear and even happiness and that eventually, inevitably, they will pass through us.
Emotions don’t sit and stay stuck.
If you are anything like me, there was a time in my life when I had a hard time feeling feelings. I didn’t know what to do with the heat of my anger or the weight of my sadness.
Quite honestly, my emotions scared the shit out of me. I had a vision of a faucet. Once I turned the handle and emotions started to flow that they would never stop. I was afraid that I’d be overtaken by them. I believed they would leave me curled up in a ball on a cold floor, unable to move.
This was one of the reasons I turned to food for comfort.
I started to eat emotionally when I was 13. I didn’t have the tools or the support to recognize what to do with my discomfort. Over the years, I would even eat emotionally when I anticipated an uncomfortable emotion.
It took me decades to understand what we really going on with my emotional eating patterns. I had many layers to pull back. I knew that dealing with my emotions, whatever that meant, was a pivotal part of my recovery.
The idea that emotions pass gave me a bit of courage.
I never considered that I could feel my feelings and go on living my life. I welcomed the idea that I didn’t need to put my life on hold to process all of my past hurts and traumas.
This was the start of me embracing my humanness. I opened myself to feel in my mind. Yet, understanding something in theory and having an experience of something are two very different things.
Not surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the opportunity to be with my emotions to present themselves.
One afternoon, I was scrolling through my social media when I saw a post by a friend that was at an outdoor yoga festival. She was there with a few of my other yogi friends. This was the first I’d heard about the event. My first reaction was to wonder why I hadn’t been invited.
My mind started to run wild. I’d been excluded. I was left behind. I wondered what I had done wrong. I wondered why my friends left me out.
In a few short moments, I made the choice that I was going to be with my hurt. I didn’t know what would come next, but I was ready to find out.
Instead of focusing on my thoughts, I put all of my attention on my body.
I felt a big weight on my chest that moved down to my belly. Tears immediately poured out of my eyes. I let them flow. I allowed the heaves of pain to move through me. My body shook and I could barely breathe.
And then, something amazing happened. As quickly as the emotions came, they left. This intense experience only lasted a few short minutes. I felt what needed to be felt, and then the energy of the emotions disappeared, like a bubble. It popped and dissolved.
My body felt relief, lightness and some fatigue.
This one experience was just the beginning of something big for me.
I was also proud of myself and my body. I partnered with her, I trusted her, I allowed her space to do what she’s designed to do; process emotions.
As I was teaching myself how to be with my feelings, I was also teaching myself how to be in my body. When I was afraid of my feelings, it was my mind that was afraid. My body was saying, “I’m here for this. Come what may. Bring it!” But I wasn’t aware of her capacity to feel yet. I hadn’t yet recognized her power.
When you’re ready to feel your emotions, start with these practices:
1.Know the truth about emotions.
Emotions are energy that are meant to move through your body. Our bodies are designed to process emotions. Emotions aren’t good or bad, they just are.
2. Practice tuning into the sensations of your body.
Sometimes your body knows the emotion before your mind does. Check in with your body regularly throughout the day and notice what signals your body is sharing with you.
3. When an emotion arises, give it space.
When we make room for something, we stop judging. That’s all your emotions want from you. Acceptance.
4. Just be and get curious.
You won’t know how your body will process the variety and intensities of your emotions until you experience it.
I’ve been able to take my practice into my healing of emotional eating. I guide my client’s to do the same. It was okay that I didn’t know how to feel. It’s okay that you may have no idea what to do with your emotions.
But know this. When you let them arrive. And give them space to be. They will likely leave as quickly as they came.