Where to Look

In the past I looked outside of myself for the answers. If I wanted to lose weight, I looked for a program or diet to follow. If I wanted to run faster, I searched for a book to read. If I felt anxious and sad, I sought out a therapist. Surely, someone or something else had the answers and I was going to find them. At the time, I wanted to improve myself and I thought someone else knew better than me. Researchers, scientists, health professionals, even the government spread a wide range of valuable information around how we should live based on averages. They share what foods to avoid and which ones we can’t eat enough of. They know how much sleep on average we should get and on average the right amount of water we should drink to keep hydrated. For a long time, I put much of my unquestionable faith in these experts. After all, they did research, studied and had all sorts of average solutions for people who were sort of like me. I didn’t realize there was a different approach.

Then I started connecting and listening to my own body. I am now noticing how my body reacts to certain foods. Do they make me tired and bloated, or light and alive? I notice what workouts leave me feeling energized. And more importantly, when I feel overwhelmed, stressed or anxious; I can stop, breath, experience and observe all of the sensations in my body and learn from them. The uncomfortable disappears.

This has been an imperfect process. It’s been filled with miracles, frustrations, and also big insights into who I am and what works for me. I am waking up to my own body and my own spirit. Sometimes I listen and sometimes I don’t care to. That is also part of connecting. I can see when I’m connected and see when I’m not. Before, I didn’t see any other options but to look somewhere else. Now, I realize there is only one option. I am my own best health professional. I can be open to the valuable information coming from the outside, but now I try it on for myself first. I am trusting and curious. I am fully responsible for me. After all, the answers lie within me. They always have.

Meet Fiona and Felix

About a year ago, my son Garrett asked for a kitten for his birthday. My husband Mark and I tried to brush him off with replies like "we will see", "maybe", and "aren't the two dogs enough"? We also tried telling him that Mom and Dad are allergic to cats (this is true, by the way) and even asked him what happens if our dogs want to eat the kitten? Nothing seemed to work and our persistent son won out. But as Garrett's birthday (May 12th) started quickly approaching, I found myself regretting the decision even more. I've never really considered myself a cat person and just don't really like them. You can't take cats for a walk or hike, or to the lake to swim and when you call them, they often don't come. I haven't met too many friendly cats either. What's their draw? I decided that cats were just not for me. The sneezing when I was in the same room with one made this decision even easier.

But I had to follow through on my word to Garrett. A few weeks ago, I connected with a great organization called Pet Tail's Rescue. They recently drove a big van to South Carolina and brought back 13 dogs and 13 cats from a high kill shelter. I let Garrett have the day off from school and we went to visit one of these little kittens to see if this was going to be Garrett's new life-long playmate.

It took me less than 5 minutes to not only fall in love with the boy kitten that Garrett picked, but also his sweet sister. We drove away that afternoon with not just one kitten, but two sweet, playful little kittens. Since that day, they both continue to melt my heart. I smile every time I see them, laugh at how they play and soften when I see them sleep.

It's so easy to decide that we are one way or another or that we fit into a fixed type (cat people or dog people). It's so easy to decide that we don't have to open our heart to people, places, things and circumstances. After all, protecting ourselves and our heart is the safe thing to do, right? Felix and Fiona, two little beings that I couldn't have possibly imagined in my life a year ago, reminded me what comes from an open mind and an open heart. It feels really good to love these little beings. It feels open and expansive and so much better than not loving all cats at all. And so far, our allergies have not kicked up (crossing my fingers that is stays that way).

What can you open yourself up to today? Do you have an unexpected Fiona and Felix in your life that will open your heart to something bigger?